


Fluffy Tales

by wildandsexy



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Cat/Human Hybrids, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hybrid Jaebum, Hybrids, I've forgotten how to tag, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, WARNING there is some physical intimidation/invasion of personal space by other characters, but no physical harm comes to any of got7 ok just so u know!!, hyung line roomies, i'll add more tags to part 2!!, it's FLUFFY i promise look at the title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 39,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9695834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildandsexy/pseuds/wildandsexy
Summary: Jackson Wang’s Definitive List of Things Im Jaebum, Roommate, Cat Hybrid and Grump Extraordinaire Does and Does Not Like:DOES LIKE:•	Hoodies•	The one table on the library’s second floor by the big window (direct sunlight all morning) (it’s basically heaven on Earth)•	Nap time (usually at 11am) (and 12pm) (and 1pm) (and 2pm) (and 3pm)…DOES NOT LIKE:•	Waking up•	Being awake in general•	Not being asleep•	Jackson WangJackson Wang's new roommate doesn't even hate him. He 'nothings' him. And that's just something that Jackson can't live with.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [birdsintokyo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdsintokyo/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for my most beloved paula <3 happy (very) belated birthday! & welcome home!! & happy valentines day!!! :*

**Part 1.**

_Jackson Wang’s Definitive List of Things Im Jaebum, Roommate, Cat Hybrid and Grump Extraordinaire Does and Does Not Like:_

_DOES LIKE:_

  * _Hoodies_
  * _Chicken and lamb (fish… not so much)_
  * _The one table on the library’s second floor by the big window (direct sunlight all morning) (it’s basically heaven on Earth)_
  * _Nap time (usually at 11am) (and 12pm) (and 1pm) (and 2pm) (and 3pm)…_
  * _Blankets_
  * _Eavesdropping_



_DOES NOT LIKE:_

  * _Rain_
  * _Sprinklers_
  * _Snow_
  * _Other cats (territorial) (unsure w/ dogs, they appear to be okay as long as they’re friendly and don’t bark)_
  * _Waking up_
  * _Being awake in general_
  * _Not being asleep_
  * _Scratchy clothes_
  * _Being stereotyped_
  * _People (Jackson) who try to touch his tail_
  * _People (Jackson) who try to touch him at all_
  * _Jackson Wang_



* * *

Jackson isn’t exactly sure he made the right decision. It had made a lot of sense at the time. Rent was expensive, utilities and food even more so, and there was only so long he could go living on packet ramyun and green tea before he would die of malnourishment. Plus he and Mark had been dorm room neighbours last year so they basically already knew what it’d be like to live together and knew they’d be great roommates. Even with the addition of two more people sleeping in the room opposite theirs.

And there are benefits of squeezing four people into the two bedroom apartment. The kitchen is big, although anything is big compared to the communal kitchen in the dorms, it comes with it’s own vast collection of video games, DVDs and books courtesy of Jinyoung and they’re a mere 10 minute bus trip from campus.

There are almost no cons to the situation. At least, that is apart from the presence of his fourth roommate, one Im Jaebum: Jinyoung’s best friend and the absolute least friendly hybrid Jackson has ever encountered in his whole 21 years.

“Oh come on he’s not that bad,” Mark teases, not looking up from where he’s scrolling through his endless messages on his phone and missing the incredulous look Jackson shoots him in response.

“Not that bad?” Jackson mimics, voice verging on hysterical before he pauses to take a slow, steady deep breath. “Mark I swear to God this morning he was sharpening his claws while glaring at me from across the couch. He’s going to slit my throat in my sleep.”

“Doubtful,” Mark monotones, still not looking up from his phone and Jackson doesn’t understand how he can possibly have that many people to talk to. He knows for a fact (and after ample needling for verbal confirmation) he is Mark’s best friend and considering he’s discussing his imminent murder, you’d think Mark could focus on him instead of replying to the fake messages of their old classmates “in town and wanting to catch up”.

Jackson misses Hong Kong, the hustle and bustle in the meeting place of the world so unlike anywhere else he’s ever been, but he’s not so sure he misses all the people. He likes his university, his family is here now and so is Mark. He has basically everything he needs.

Except safety. From his own fucking roommate.

“He hates me,” Jackson groans, careful not to speak too loudly incase it carries through the walls. Jackson has heard all about hybrids and their heightened senses. The last thing he needs is for Jaebum’s pair of silky jet-black ears to catch his words and have him decide to drag out his murder with extra punishment and pain. “He has always hated me and I don’t even know why. I’ve been nothing but nice to him!”

Mark sighs, finally lowering his phone to rest on his stomach and turning to Jackson. Their eyes meet across the small gap between their single beds, the elder’s expression dead serious when he speaks. “Jaebum doesn’t hate you. If anything- he nothings you. Move on.”

And the air rushes out of Jackson in a huff of disbelief, offence churning his stomach before it steadies with resolution.

If Jaebum doesn’t have the decency to form an opinion of him after over a month of living together, Jackson just needs to try harder.

* * *

Jaebum has a class in fifteen minutes. It’s an important one too. Midterms are in two weeks. He really should go to his class. Jinyoung will come home and tell him off for not going to class. And even though Jinyoung is months younger than him, he’s annoyingly good at making him feel like a petulant child. Jaebum is pretty sure Jinyoung became middle-aged at 15 and has only continued to mature and master his disappointed father persona into his twenties.

But the sun is shining through the window, his 400 thread count sateen sheets are soft and warm underneath him and he feels a soft purr begin to thrum in his throat.

He’ll go to the class next week. He promises.

* * *

Jackson wakes up at 4am to go to the fish market.

His eyes are barely open, the scarf he stole from Jinyoung is wrapped three times around his neck and his fingers are shoved as deep as they can be into his coat pockets to keep them from freezing off. His face mask keeps the worst of the sharp wind from attacking his face but he still feels the cold chill of air in every inhale and the sees his breath in the air before him with every exhale.

Jackson doesn’t even like fish.

Sure it’s fine, he’ll eat it when it’s served to him and he would never dream of complaining about it being in a meal, but it wouldn’t exactly be his first choice when given another option. But he has a foolproof plan and determination so he steels himself, shoves away the slight repulsion bubbling in his throat at the pungent smell of fish guts and makes his way into the madness that is a South Korean fish market at sunrise.

There’s people everywhere, vendors and customers squeezing through the narrow gaps between the stacks of the harvest. The concrete below his feet shines with melted ice and the faint red hue of fish blood and Jackson tries his best not to notice it. He’ll have to remember rinse off his shoes when he gets home.

He can barely hear himself think over the constant talking, people bartering and arguing and fighting and Jackson isn’t quite sure if there’s any real distinction between the three.

He catches sight of stingray in one stall, lain in display across ice with their tails still stretched out behind them and he almost slips backing away from it quickly.

He makes eye contact with the beady eyes of the fish, splashing around in their shallow tubs of water as they await their purchase, and he’s not sure which one of them has it worse.

He finds a quieter stall, away from the aggressive haggling and mountains of clams and prawns, where a nice young girl not far off his age is arranging fresh cut fillets on ice and humming to herself.

“Ah,” He clears his throat, still rough considering she is in fact the first person he’s spoken to that day. “Can you give me some advice?”

She looks up in surprise, eyes flickering where a man is unloading more fish and Jackson is reminded with a grimace he’s clearly out of his depth there. “I just want some fish that’s easy and simple to cook. Something I can’t mess up horribly.”

She stares at him for a moment longer, clearly questioning whether he’s serious, before she finds her answer in the desperation in his eyes and peals into a bout of laughter. He can’t help but laugh along with her, all too aware of the ridiculousness of his situation.

Eventually, once convinced that he wasn’t being silly and yes really really did need fish he could cook easily, she steered him towards some fillets, gave him a few tips on cooking and sent him on his way. Content and happy with his fish tucked under one arm, a smile on his face and a warm and comfortable bed awaiting him.

* * *

Jaebum wakes to the sound of the front door closing at he lets out an annoyed grunt, rolling over to check the time and hissing softly in annoyance.

It’s barely an hour past his bedtime and someone’s woken him up by closing the front door. Ridiculous.

The body in the bed opposite his continues to softly snore and he rolls his eyes so hard he’s worried they’ll fall out. Jinyoung definitely wasn’t the one slamming the door at 4am.

Then there’s Mark, the quiet and considerate angel they’ve moved in with, whom understands the importance of sleep and not being annoying and would never be up so early without staying perfectly quiet.

So that only leaves one person to wake Jaebum so unnaturally early and stop him from getting his full 14 hours. Jackson probably had some booty call or something, something Jaebum assumes extroverts with way too many friends and too much interest in being social do regularly.

And Jaebum was supposed to go to class in the morning too, so unless he can manage to force himself back to sleep in the next five minutes there’s just no way he’ll get enough rest for going to even be worth it. He’ll probably just fall asleep or zone out and learn just as little as if he stays home. So there’s no point even going to class. And he’d promised Jinyoung he would so now he’s going to have to deal with that.

It’s only 4am and Jackson has already ruined Jaebum’s day. Perfect.

* * *

Jackson almost forgets about the fish for most of the day. He has a class in the morning, an interview for a position tutoring English and Mandarin, a study group in the afternoon and by the time he gets back to the apartment he’s once more weary and cold.

He almost misses Hong Kong’s climate. Sure Summers were muggy and never-ending, but at least he could leave his apartment in October without feeling like he’d get frostbite if he forgot a sweater.  

He stumbles his way to the fridge, prays nobody has eaten his left overs again and cries out in surprise at the sight of his fish fillets still wrapped neatly in the fridge.

And like that he forces himself awake, pours himself a cup of slightly too bitter tea and gets started cooking.

He checks the recipe three times and the label on the oil four. He’s not interested in having a repeat of the time a few weeks ago he realised at the last moment he was holding sesame oil instead of peanut oil and ended up missing the dish and poured it straight onto the hot plate. He had almost burnt the apartment down. Jinyoung had not been impressed.

He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. He cooked with his mother all the time. And sure she mostly just had him stirring or measuring out ingredients, but he sort of knows his way around a kitchen. Plus there was little to no pressure to hurry. It is unlikely anyone but himself, Mark and maybe Jinyoung if he finishes work early, will be home to eat soon.

Poor Jinyoung. 24 hour diners sound like a great idea until you have to work in one.

And Jaebum… Jaebum, Jackson realizes, he hasn’t seen all day.

He shrugs off the thought, figuring he must have classes, and returns to slaving over the fish. He seasons it with a steady hand, checks the temperature of the pan and lets out a sigh of relief when he’s ready to cook it.

Food. The way to a man’s heart. And although Jackson may not want Jaebum’s heart per se, it can’t hurt to butter him up with some food can it?

The door to Jinyoung and Jaebum’s rooms creaks open and he spins towards it in surprise. He had assumed himself to be the only one home, Jinyoung working, Jaebum studying and Mark being the least social social butterfly Jackson had ever met, but the half closed, sleep puffy eyes staring at him from across the room state otherwise. You can hardly see his ears through his mess of bed head and Jackson bites back a grin.

Jackson doesn’t know how but upon realizing who he’s staring at Jaebum’s eyes manage to narrow even further.

“Are you cooking fish?” His voice is so rough with sleep it makes deciphering any tone impossible, but Jackson elects to take his curiosity as a positive sign and nods.

“I am!”

“Ugh,” Jaebum’s nose crinkles and his tail, peeking out behind him from soft gray sweatpants flicks sharply once. “Well can you at least put on the fan over the oven or open a window to stop the smell spreading everywhere? I hate fish.”

And with that he turns and heads straight back into his room, tail swishing behind him and leaving Jackson defeated in its wake.

When Jackson accidentally burns the fish and it verges on becoming inedible he can’t even claim to be upset by it. He shoves it in the trash, empties the bag immediately and when Mark comes home they order in.

Jaebum still hasn’t left his room but he sends Mark a text asking for something with chicken in it.

Jackson doesn’t know why he’s even trying.

* * *

 It’s 3am and Jaebum is wide-awake. Pumped even.

His eyes cut easily through the dark and he tries his best to slip out from under his many blankets without waking Jinyoung. He’s not eager to be judged for his sleeping habits yet again.

Jinyoung would sigh, do that face where his brows pinch together and his mouth opens with a thousand reasons to give Jaebum for why he’s being silly, and Jaebum would rather avoid that right now.

He knows he should sleep, he really does.

But it’s 3am and there’s something about the cool night air that has his heartbeat thrumming and when he sneaks out into the open, empty area of the apartment he releases a heavy, content breath.

Everyone’s asleep. Jaebum grins.

There are leftovers in the fridge and he pretends not to notice the clearly labeled names on them as he sniffs at some lamb skewers.

Jackson had made a run for food the previous night, and Jaebum had been the only one not home, at yet another hybrid association meeting, so he didn’t get anything. And it’s not his fault that Jackson didn’t finish his meal. If he was worried about someone else eating it, he should have eaten it himself. It’s fair game.

He doesn’t often deviate from his regular diet of chicken and whatever he can beg Jinyoung to make him, but the skewers smells interesting and he hasn’t eaten in far too many hours. Plus everyone knows about his picky palate. Nobody would suspect him to be the one trying new things. It’s the perfect crime.

He slinks through the dim apartment, not bothering to turn on a light as his eyes adjust easily, and finds himself at the window ledge. They’re only a few floors up, just enough to get a nice view of the road without having to do a workout every time they returned home, and it’s enough for Jaebum.

He’s been sitting there for going on an hour, happily gnawing at the bamboo skewers for the last taste of lamb and watching the occasional car pass by, when he hears a door creak open from behind him.

He has an excuse ready on his tongue in a millisecond.

_“I had a nightmare Jinyoung-ah.”_

_“You were snoring and woke me up.”_

_“It’s none of your business anyway I’m your elder.”_

But for the first time it’s not his friend catching him.

It’s Jackson, shocking bed hair and all, standing silently in the doorway to his and Mark’s room and Jaebum has no idea what to say. A blanket hangs off one shoulder, barely clinging to his bare skin as one hand reaches up and half-heartedly tugs at it.

Jaebum mouths wordlessly for a moment before he realizes if Jackson’s almost closed eyes and the way his slow breathing resembles a quiet snore means anything, it’s unlikely the other has even noticed him. Jackson begins to shuffle to the bathroom and Jaebum wonders how he’s even awake enough to use the toilet without injuring himself.

The door closes and he pauses, considering his options, before he scampers back to the safety of his room.

He only realizes once he’s back, cozy and sated in the nest of his blankets, that he left the skewers, riddled with clear gnawing marks, beside the window.

Shit.

* * *

Jackson’s stomach grumbles loudly as he pokes through the pantry, desperate for anything but protein shakes and green tea. Sure they’re his and he usually would delight in them, but he just finished another full day of work and classes and his stomach is speedily digesting itself.

His temper is unfortunately linked to his level of hunger and he is two seconds from yelling at the empty cupboards for no reason.

Groceries.

He’ll go buy groceries.

It was Jinyoung’s turn to run errands but Jinyoung was at the library all afternoon neck deep in an assignment, so Jackson can buy the food and if he asks nicely enough maybe Jinyoung will assemble a meal.

And Jackson can pick himself up some snacks while he’s there. Just one thing. Or two.

He grabs the first hoodie he sees, too absorbed in his hunger, to realise it’s not his until he’s outside, pulling it over his head and his thumb goes straight through a hole in the arm.

It’s riddled with holes he soon realizes and he swears.

“I just stole a hybrid who hates me’s clothes ,” He says to nobody at all and ignores the confused looks shot his way by a delivery boy riding by. “I’m going to die today.”

He should take it off, he should run back upstairs and search for his own or at least one of Mark’s or even Jinyoung’s. He should tuck it under one arm and brave the cold and do all he can to avoid getting his scent into the soft fabric.

But the wind against his face is already brisk enough, his stomach is aggressively growling and he swears this must be a fucking cashmere hoodie or something because it’s so _soft_.

Falling apart at the seams and Jackson swears that’s Jaebum’s shedded fur stuck to it, but _so soft_. Jackson can’t force himself to take it off.

He hurries to the store, thankful once he’s inside and happily surrounded by food, and grabs a basket.

He soon realizes his mistake with grocery shopping on an empty stomach when his basket is overflowing, his arm is growing tired from the weight and he has about half of what he actually needed to buy. But he can’t help it. He likes going down every aisle to make sure he doesn’t miss anything and it just so happens he likes the look of lots of things.

Somehow he ends up in front of an area he hadn’t noticed before, probably always distracted by the health food sharing the shelves. It’s specific foods for hybrids. With special proteins and vitamins to keep their coat soft and shiny and for hybrids with “a fussier palate” than “normal people”.

Jackson really hopes the creator of the snacks is actually a hybrid because if not he’s pretty sure 98% of the statements on the packaging would be offensive.

He’s pretty sure it sort of still is.

But Jaebum didn’t like the fish. And Jaebum doesn’t like half of what Jackson prepares when it’s his turn for dinner. So maybe buying him some snacks specifically designed for him would be a nice little peace offering.

And maybe it would also save his ass when he returned Jaebum’s sweater heavy with his scent.

He grabs a few, deliberately selecting some chicken flavoured with that newfound knowledge of Jaebum’s preferences, and bops along to the next aisle.

It’s twenty minutes and a couple ten thousand too many won later that he makes his way back to the apartment. His arms are straining from the bags, his nose is frozen from the chilly wind and his stomach is growling painfully still but he’s proud of his purchases.

He’s pretty sure he’s done well. He’s hopeful he’ll finally get some reward for his efforts.

A thank you. Maybe even a smile or a nod. But then again Jackson doesn’t want to dream too big.

* * *

Jaebum went to class. It was boring. He was pretty sure he learnt more about how to pretend to listen while scrolling through SNS than any of the topics covered. But he would be okay, he only has a few midterms he was pretty sure he will pass easily enough and he still has a couple months until final exams and Youngjae was more than eager to start a study group so he’d be fine.

Hopefully.

He’ll start studying next week.

He is relieved once he’s back at the apartment, taking solace in the quiet peace of the empty space and he falls face first into the sofa. He frowns when he wriggles around, fingers prodding around amongst the cushions as he searches for his hoodie he swore he left there that morning and coming up empty.

“Where…” He mutters to himself, pulling off his uncomfortable but annoyingly stylish coat and standing to search.

Jinyoung and his room comes up empty, even under his bed where Jaebum winces at the amount of crap he has shoved under there. It’s a good thing mice are too smart to try and sneak by him he decides, as he pulls out old snack wrappers and quietly shoves them into the trash.

The bathroom is empty too. Towels hanging to dry and clothes hamper mostly empty apart from a few of Jinyoung’s uniforms and some socks.

He already knows it isn’t in the living area and that only leaves one more place.

He’s never actually been inside of Jackson and Mark’s room since they moved in. He remembers investigating the room when they first signed their lease, Jinyoung tsking at him as he sniffed at the space and paced before agreeing to it. Jaebum stands by the statement that Jinyoung needs him to do that. Jaebum can smell things. Often too many things.

Because of Jaebum’s superior nose Jinyoung doesn’t have to worry about their apartment having ever been involved in any violent crimes or orgies.

He really deserves a thanks rather than the eye roll he received.

So it’s odd when he opens their door, almost surprised to see two single beds instead of one double. The pair’s scents are to intermingled from their combined living and general constant attachment Jaebum always had a sneaking suspicion their friendship was something more than purely platonic.

But their beds are separate. If little else.

It becomes a little easier to separate their scents once he walks inside and adjusts, Mark’s a sweet musk and Jackson’s a warmer one that makes Jaebum’s tail twitch.

He isn’t there to pry. He wouldn’t have planned on sneaking in here and invading their privacy, but his favourite hoodie is missing and he just wants to lie in bed and read and he can’t do that if he isn’t comfortable and this is the only possible place left for it to be.

Maybe Mark accidentally mixed it in with his laundry. Maybe Jackson panic cleaned before some of his million friends came over and shoved everything out of sight and into his room. Maybe Jinyoung finally threw it in the garbage because of the slight fraying around the edges.

Jaebum whines. He prays for both of their sakes that that didn’t happened.

So he begins his search, starting first with Mark and digging through stacks upon stacks of clothes. He doesn’t know how Mark can even afford so many, but he supposes it isn’t his place to ask.

But as fun as it is to dig through the designer stacks, it’s ultimately unsuccessful and he comes up empty handed.

He turns to Jackson’s side with a scrunched up nose, trying to block out the warm scent sneaking into every breath and the weird heartburn it has him feeling.

Jackson probably hasn’t washed his sheets in months so he probably just drenches his bed in cologne, Jaebum decides. How disgusting.

He finds trophies, medals, textbooks, flash cards, a Pokemon plushie and at least ten caps, but no hoodie.

He’s about to go digging in his drawers, thinking at least if he doesn’t find his hoodie he can find that damn cologne and throw it away as punishment for it tormenting him, when he hears the apartment’s front door open.

Jaebum is scrambling for an excuse, fighting temptation to dive under Jackson’s bed and hide, when the door opens and he’s ruined.

“Why are you in my room?” Jackson asks and Jaebum isn’t sure if that’s accusation or genuine bewilderment in his tone but he can’t even focus enough to ask.

Jackson is wearing his hoodie.

Jackson’s thumbs are poked through the holes he tore for himself. Jackson’s tiny little hands are clutching at the too long sleeves and holding them tight like paws.

Jaebum feels his ears slide back, flat against his head and his tail flicks.

“Why are you wearing my hoodie?”

Heat rushes to Jackson’s face and he unhooks his thumbs to quickly pull it over his head. He passes it immediately to Jaebum and Jaebum’s arms barely make it up to catch it in time.

Jackson’s hair is messy, his shirt is hanging lop sided from his quick disrobing and the stupid scent of his cologne is rolling off him in waves.

“At least wash it first,” He hisses out eventually, settling on the words as he makes his escape towards the door and holds the hoodie as far away from him as he can, pinched between two fingers. The scent is even stronger up close and he wrinkles his nose. He’s going to have to wash it twice to get the scent of Jackson out of it. “And stop wearing so much cologne this entire apartment smells like you, it’s overwhelming.”

* * *

Jackson isn’t a person to set out to bring another person discomfort or anger or harm. He generally considers himself a nice person, he knows his flaws and is readily prepared to admit them… But he thinks he’s a nice person.

So he doesn’t know why he’s been inflicted with the world’s most antagonistic roommate who hates him and hates his existence and actively wants to throw him out the window.

Or at least that’s what he’s inferring. From plenty of evidence.

“What am I supposed to do?” Jackson whines to Jinyoung, following the boy around as he picks through Jackson’s groceries and begins to construct a meal. The only refuge Jackson has received from his misery today is that he saw a cute little coffee shop on the way home from shopping and treated himself to a few cookies. Otherwise he would’ve just given up and already died of starvation. “Why does he loathe me?”

Jinyoung sighs, sounding almost a little endeared and a lot exhausted, “Jaebum-hyung doesn’t open up to people easily.”

Jackson groans, “Yeah but he doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t hate Mark. He doesn’t even hate the neighbors from upstairs and they yell 24 hours a day 7 days a week.” He lifts himself up to sit on the counter, heels tapping away at the doors of the cabinet below him. “So why does he hate me?”

Jinyoung shrugs, a weak smile on his face and Jackson curses himself for moving in with a literal prince. Nothing will crush your confidence quite as easily as Park Jinyoung after 12 hours of study and running on 3 hours sleep, still looking obscenely handsome with the faint shadow of stubble and messed up hair. He really needs to find new roommates.

Except he’d probably miss Mark. Curse him.

“Sometimes people just don’t get along,” Jinyoung considers. “Maybe you two are just those type of people.”

Jackson wants to cry out in despair. He’s not one of those kinds of people. He has people who don’t like him sure, but at least they have a reason for it. He’s too loud, he’s too energetic, he’s too much in general, but Jaebum doesn’t even know him. And he hates him.

So he tells Jinyoung that and watches his expression become dubious, “Jinyoungie he told me to stop getting my cologne on everything because the entire apartment smells like me.”

“So?”

“I ran out of cologne months ago and haven’t had time to buy a new bottle.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Jackson looks away from Jinyoung, not wanting to meet his curious gaze any longer. “So he basically just thinks I stink and there’s nothing I can do about it because how can I keep my stink off of everything? It’s just who I am!”

“He said your scent stinks?” Jinyoung prods, voice airy and Jackson shakes it off.

“Not in as many words but… Basically yeah.”

Jinyoung doesn’t say anything, just hums and Jackson decides he’s had more than enough stressing over their cat hybrid roomie to last the day.

“I’m going to the gym,” He decides, jumping off the counter top and gathering up his things. He doesn’t even care that he’s nowhere near full and there’s a small horde of snacks for him to pick through, he just wants out. “Oh and tell Jaebum-hyung there are some hybrid snacks in the groceries for him. That is if his highness can stoop so low as to eat food that probably also stinks of me.”

* * *

Jaebum comes out of his room at the sound of a door slamming, nose picking up the scent of Jinyoung’s cooking and his stomach rumbles as he skulks over.

He’s still without his favourite hoodie so he’s wrapped in a blanket, a walking burrito, as he shuffles to the kitchenette. His tail is not a fan of being trapped under the many layers but he’s too cozy to unwrap just yet.

“Dinner?” He sniffs, ears perking up at the smell of fresh food.

“Yep,” Jinyoung nods. “Oh and there’s some special snacks for you in the cupboard on the right.”

Jaebum raises an eyebrow, tries to fight the temptation to look before curiosity gets the better of him and he shuffles over. He can be such a stereotype sometimes. It’s a process to squeeze his arms out but it’s worth it when he gets the cupboard open.

There are cat hybrid snacks, not just one but a collection of different types, sweet and savory. Jerky strips, chips, candies, biscuits. And not one of them has any fish in it. And apparently they’re all for him. Without him even asking for them.

He can’t help the way his throat rumbles, a low purr settling in him as he moves towards Jinyoung and rests against his best friend’s side. Jinyoung may be a judgmental asshole with annoyingly good hair and a penchant for passive aggression, but Jaebum is lucky to have him.

He’s never met a human so understanding and facilitating of someone like him.

“Thank you, Jinyoung-ah,” He hums, head resting against Jinyoung’s shoulder as he purrs softly. He almost jumps a foot in the air when he’s shaken off by a sudden bark of laughter.

“Oh no, I didn’t get them for you hyung,” Jinyoung shakes his head. “I’ve been at the library all day cramming. Jackson bought them.”

His voice is strangely distorted, some idea of superiority in his tone, and Jaebum isn’t sure where it leaves him. He returns to the cupboard, sniffs hesitantly at the packets and glowers when that same scent clings to them too.

“Why is he like this?” He asks, mostly to himself.

“What?” Jinyoung quizzes. “Friendly?”

“Annoying.”

Jinyoung is laughing now and Jaebum hates the way it makes his ears flatten to his head, embarrassment and discomfort so clearly displayed for anyone to see.

“Shut up I’m going back to bed.”

“Okay,” Jinyoung nods, still chopping away happily. “Oh and hyung?”

Jaebum pauses, mouth downturned and petty annoyance in his eyes, “What.”

“Jackson ran out of cologne months ago.”

Jaebum stays silent for a moment, two, before he blinks.

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything. Goodbye.”

His door slams behind him but his ears still pick up the sound of Jinyoung’s laughter dancing through it.

* * *

Jackson just really doesn’t understand his roommates. Any of them.

Mark he has known for years. They grew up together, remained friends when Mark moved away, were delighted when his family ended up moving too. They went to the same schools, struggled learning Korean together and played in the same basketball team.

They even dated the same girls. Or at least Jackson tried to and Mark said a few cute words in his American accent and won them over.

Nobody even cared that Jackson’s accent he’d picked up learning English from American teachers was almost as good as his.

But Mark could have everything he ever wanted, he could throw a girl a bright smile and flash those aggressively white teeth and win them over in two seconds. Mark could go to parties, not say a word and leave with everyone recounting for weeks after about how he was _such a cool guy_.

And they were invited to celebrate the end of midterms at one of the biggest parties of the semester. Alcohol was even provided. It was at one of the rich kids’ apartments in town their parents paid the rent for, and Mark was lying on the couch beside Jinyoung watching on calmly as he played fucking Grand Theft Auto. Like a pair of 16 year olds.

Jinyoung who, despite dressing like a white dad who spends every Sunday golfing and has 2.5 kids all on the honor role, also received a coveted invite to the party.

And is currently in fluffy socks and a robe.

Jackson really doesn’t understand his roommates.

“WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?”

“What does it look like?” Mark replies without pause, giggling when Jinyoung’s finger slips off a button and hurls his car into the side of a building.

“Fuck!” Jinyoung yells and Jackson can’t believe his adopted white dad would swear in front of him. “I pressed the brake! I pressed L2!”

“I’m sure you did,” Mark responds placating and Jackson voices his agreement, despite the fact they both are well aware Jinyoung had been mashing R2.

But that doesn’t solve Jackson’s problem. He has an invite to the best party of the year, a kickass pair of jeans on that make his thighs look like steel and a dangerously low cut button down shirt… And nobody to go with.

“Why can’t either of you come with me?” He whines, voice becoming dangerously shrill but he can’t care enough to stop it. “I’m not good on my own I need someone there to laugh at my jokes and make sure I don’t get my drink spiked when I go to the bathroom.”

“Who’s going to spike your-“ Mark says dryly and Jackson’s whines rise in pitch.

“Jackson!” Jinyoung interrupts. “I’ve worked for the past three days and I have an entire week off until my next assignment is due-“

“So come party with me…”

“My feet are so swollen they could double as life rafts,” Jinyoung states as Mark nods seriously and Jackson truly hates his friends. “And I don’t like drinking anyway-“

“You don’t have to! I would never peer pressure-“

“- and I have work again tomorrow morning,” Jinyoung sighs before his eyes widen, a considering look passing across his face. “You could ask Jaebum-hyung?”

Jackson’s stomach rolls and he frowns at Mark’s hysterical laughter at the proposal. “Hyung hates me even more than I hate him.”

“You don’t hate him.”

“You can’t prove that.”

“Jackson.”

“Jinyoungie.”

They are having a standoff, Jinyoung’s frustratingly authoritative eyes commanding over Jackson’s and he groans in submission. Jinyoung is supposed to be younger. Jackson doesn’t know where he went wrong.

“Fine! I’ll ask him,” He fiddles with his shirt, rolling up his sleeves in determination. “But if he murders me it’s on you.”

“He won’t murder you,” Jinyoung sighs.

Jackson sniffs, not confident in that statement, and slowly makes his way to the closed door he knows Jaebum is secluded behind. He reaches it with a heavy breath, turning back to Jinyoung and calling out to him.

“Before I die Jinyoungie I hope you remember how kind and generous I am even when faced with impending death,” Jinyoung raises an eyebrow. “Soak your feet in warm salt water to relieve swelling.”

And he opens the door.

* * *

Jaebum is running, vaulting over low fences and sliding past overflowing dumpsters as he scampers away from the growing darkness. There are the faint sounds of car horns, crowds of people in the nearby streets chattering away happily, and Jaebum is running.

The man is following him, a tranquilizer gun in one hand and a noose pole in the other. He’s fast, even when compared to Jaebum’s enhanced speed, and Jaebum’s fur prickles up at the ghost feeling off breath against his neck.

He ducks down to hide amongst some trash cans, too exhausted from the chase to keep running and prays silently to himself that the man will continue on past without spotting him. His tail is tucked tightly against him, wrapped around his front to keep it still, and his claws are out as his last resort. His panting breaths leave his mouth, as quiet as he can keep them, but still painfully loud.

His ears turn at the sound of footsteps and his skin shivers. The man takes one, two steps past him before his footfalls stop and Jaebum braces himself. He can’t run any more, he’s trapped, alone and terrified, and he knows he’s been spotted.

The clang of metal startles him as the man shoves a trashcan to the side, the sound reverberating off the dumpster it collides with and Jaebum hisses.

His claws bat out, his last line of defense, and he can’t help but pause at the man’s startled yelp.

It’s loud. Louder and more alarmed than he would expect it to be. But the man isn’t there anymore. And Jaebum’s vision is blurry and sleep addled and he blinks hard to clear it.

Wide eyes meet his, wide, pained eyes and Jaebum’s ears perk up in confusion.

Jackson.

His roommate.

What was he doing in the alleyway? Or… Rather, Jaebum thinks as his mind clears, what was he doing in Jaebum’s room?

He’s cradling his arm and Jaebum’s nose catches the sharp scent of fresh blood.

His claws are still out, biting into the skin of his own palms and he looks down to see bright red across his fingers.

“I’m-“ Jackson blurts, mouth fighting for words and Jaebum can’t look away from the fresh red lines scratched across his forearm. “I shouldn’t have woken you.”

“Fuck,” Jaebum moves to stand, reaching for Jackson and tries not to feel ill at the responding flinch it earns him. Jaebum isn’t used to people reacting to him like that. Excluding him and staring him and ignoring him, he was used to. But fear he isn’t familiar with. He doesn’t think he likes it. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean-“

“No no,” Jackson shakes his head swiftly, a breathy laugh passing through his lips and he backs up to the door. “It’s fine. It’s just a scratch… Just a few scratches… I’ll go ask Jinyoung if he has any antibacterial cream or band aids or-“

Jackson doesn’t finish that thought, slipping through the door and closing it firmly behind him.

Jaebum’s stomach turns unpleasantly.

He needs to wash his hands.

He needs to stop his head from spinning.

He needs to… He doesn’t know.

* * *

Despite being a suburban white dad who works as an accountant and golfs every Sunday, Jinyoung doesn’t have anything in the way of a first aid kit. Jackson finds one Hello Kitty band aid and that’s it.

He doesn’t want to alarm the others, or draw any other attention to his stupid decision to wake a clearly distressed Jaebum, so he leans over the sink and considers his situation.

He couldn’t help himself. Jaebum had seemed so anxious curled up in a ball. It wasn’t the lazy stretch Jackson had spied before when he’d accidentally fallen asleep on the couch, the one with his arms sprawled out wide and his legs kicked out after him. He wasn’t sighing happily, making quiet little huffs of contentedness and burying face first into his blanket.

He had been curled in on himself, ears flat against his head and breaths coming out in swift pants and Jackson hadn’t known what else to do.

The scratches hadn’t even stung at first, shock numbing the feeling, and it took for the blood to begin seeping out for him to realise he’d well and truly broken the skin.

Well, he supposes, he never would have had that much fun at the party by himself anyway.

He finds his wallet, wipes up what he can of the blood and pulls on a hoodie to cover it. A weak excuse and a vague explanation seem sufficient for him to escape without drawing any more of Mark and Jinyoung’s attention and he slides out the door.

The nearest corner store isn’t even a block away and he makes it there quickly, skimming the few aisles for antibacterial gel and bandaids.

The clerk is a reasonably normal looking guy, can’t be much older than Jackson, and he greets him with a friendly smile before sliding the boxes onto the counter.

He’s shoved the sleeve of his hoodie up without thinking, the fabric catching on the still tender cuts and he sees the way the guy’s eyes widen at the sight of them.

“Ohh don’t worry buddy we’ve all been there,” The bell over the door rings and Jackson doesn’t understand quite what the guy means by that but he shrugs, just wanting to get his things and head back to the apartment as quickly as possible. Maybe he could even do something to salvage the rest of his night. He could get a start on his next presentation maybe. It wasn’t a party but it was still something. “Hybrids, am I right?”

Jackson raises an eyebrow at the cashier, ‘I’m sorry I don’t understand what you mean?”

The guy laughs, scanning the things and giving him his total. “They’re just a bit touchy, right? They’re all cuddly and sweet until you cross some line and then they freak out on you.” He shrugs. “Almost makes me wonder why they let them out undomesticated.”

Jackson’s retort chokes in his throat and he bites it down until his things are in his hands, change pointedly not placed in the neatly labeled tip jar, and he addresses the guy.

“Undomesticated? What year do you think- what decade are you living in? Hybrids have just as much right to be free as you or I you- you prejudiced dick,” Jackson sniffs. “And – and anyway how do you even know these are from a hybrid? That in itself is a… Is an offensive assumption to make! I could’ve scratched myself climbing a tree? Or breaking in somewhere? Huh? Or maybe I just have long fingernails and scratched myself on accident! Don’t be so ignorant.”

And with that, admittedly stilted and a little disjointed speech, Jackson turns on his heel and walks out the door, the bell ringing once more on his way out.

* * *

Jinyoung and Mark don’t even look up when Jaebum sneaks out the door, even when his tail bumps against a mug and almost sends it hurtling to the floor.

He wonders if they’re actually deaf or they just don’t care. He figures it’s probably a little bit of both.

Jackson is hurrying, clearly with a plan where he’s headed, and Jaebum knows he probably should just catch up and try and explain himself, but shame is heavy in his stomach and he just can’t make himself close the distance between them.

He had washed the blood from his nails, has his hood up and over his ears, and he hurries after Jackson through the evening crowds. Jackson is dressed nicely, he realizes absently, jeans he doesn’t recognize and a button down peeking from underneath his hoodie. Jaebum wonders where he is headed in such a hurry.

To a convenience store, he discovers.

If he’s followed Jackson on a condom run before he’s heading to a date Jaebum is going to throw himself into the Han River without a life jacket. And, as a self respecting cat hybrid, Jaebum has never swum a day in his life.

He considers this for a minute or two, trying to decide if it’s really worth embarrassing himself even further by running into Jackson with an armful of _Ribbed for Her Pleasure_ condoms, but he knows he needs to apologize. He’s embarrassed and ashamed but his mom raised him right and he can just picture the look on her face if she could see him now. So he walks inside... And immediately hides between the shelves.

Jackson is standing by the till, boxes Jaebum can’t read from his hiding spot and he listens on while poking at the snacks. He’s poking at breakfast bars, wondering if Jinyoung would allow him to consider them as a full meal, when he hears Jackson’s confused hum.

“Hybrids, am I right?”

It’s the clerk, the one Jaebum hadn’t even glanced at upon entering, and he’s staring at Jackson with a cocky smirk that makes Jaebum’s tail prickle.

Jackson questions him and Jaebum can’t help but listen in, ears perking up at every word.

“They’re just a bit touchy, right? They’re all cuddly and sweet until you cross some line and then they freak out on you.” Jaebum glowers at the words, anger bubbling in his chest at the wide generalizations being made. So what if he doesn’t like being touched sometimes. So what if he gets jumpy when he’s surprised. So what if he needs space upon occasion.

Everyone does. He doesn’t understand why so many people find it impossible to separate his traits from his genetics. “Almost makes me wonder why they let them out undomesticated.”

Jaebum’s eyes tighten, his tail flicks and he’s prepared to go and give the cashier a piece of his mind. He wants to say how dare he! He wants to tell him how prejudiced and disgusting he’s being in his statements. How dare he say such things without knowing anything about the situation? Hybrids are not all like that and he’s being incredibly offensive suggesting as such!

But he can’t.

Because ultimately, the guy was right. Jaebum had been the one to hurt Jackson. And Jaebum knows telling him off would just make himself another “touchy hybrid” who can’t control his emotions and anger and the reality of the box his situation places him in makes him want to yell. He should be able to defend himself, he should be able to speak for himself as an individual rather than be the representative of his entire species. It’s exhausting.

But Jackson surprises him. He takes his things with an indignant huff and proceeds to tell the man, stumbling a little and short of breath, but strong, everything wrong with his words.

And Jaebum… Jaebum isn’t sure how to feel about that.

He watches as his roommate leaves, the doorbell ringing and he takes a moment or two before following after him. The clerk looks up, eyes widening when he catches sight of the tail swishing after him, and he doesn’t even bother to give him any attention as he walks out the door.

And if his tail brushes against a display as he leaves, boxes upon boxes hurtling to the floor behind him, well… Jaebum’s always been a little bit clumsy like that.

* * *

Jaebum begins to act even stranger after the incident, and Jackson honestly never thought such a thing possible.

He hasn’t been spending every waking moment in his room. He’s made his way out of bed early enough to say hello over breakfast before heading to the windowsill where he seats himself for an hour or so until his classes begin.

His classes. That he’s actually going to.

Jackson is a little proud.

He wonders just how badly he failed his midterms to give him such motivation. Or how much blackmail Jinyoung has on him to make him go.

Jaebum still doesn’t exactly _talk_ to him much, preferring to people watch those in the street below as he sips his coffee and reads or plays puzzle games on his phone, but he’s out of his room and that alone is a drastic change.

Jackson still forgets Jaebum will be awake sometimes, comes running home with 15 minutes to shower and eat before he has to run to a study group and tugs off his shirt before he’s halfway in the door and immediately freezes at the sight of curious eyes on him from across the room.

Jaebum looks away of course, flicks his gaze back to his book after giving Jackson a quick nod of greeting, but Jackson can’t help the way he flushes at his mistake.

He realizes after weeks of paying attention that Jaebum does not in fact only wear that one same red hoodie nonstop. It’s clearly his favourite, with Jackson catching sight of the distinctive holes worn into the sleeves, but he has a mini collection of the same soft hoodies that he cycles through.

He measures out the fabric softener he uses when he washes them with such precision Jackson thinks a part of his heart explodes.

It’s just… cute.

Not that Jackson would ever say such a thing to Jaebum, he prefers his balls still connected to his body, but it’s cute. Even if Jaebum once didn’t realise Jackson’s favourite socks were still in the machine and ended up turning them a light shade of pink.

Jaebum denies any involvement.

Jackson doesn’t bother arguing.

Pink is a pretty color anyway.

* * *

Jaebum falls asleep on the windowsill, curled up around one of Jinyoung’s book and basking in the warm afternoon son.

He doesn’t wake up when the front door opens. He doesn’t wake up at the quiet coo slipping from Jackson’s lips at the sight of him. He doesn’t even wake up when Jackson fights against all sense of self-preservation and takes a quick picture of him.

He only wakes at the feeling of a blanket being laid over him, snuffles quietly as his eyes crack open and he catches brief sight of Jackson disappearing into his room.

He falls back asleep in seconds, toasty warm and strangely content.

* * *

Jackson almost forgets about his mission to befriend (or at least progress from absolute strangers with) Jaebum after the incident.

The scratches’ bleeding made them look worse than they were and the shallow cuts heal quickly, leaving only fading white lines across his forearm. Even if they don’t completely fade from his olive skin he can’t find it in himself to really worry. He’s pretty sure some people are into scars.

He wonders if Jaebum is into scars…

He shoves the rogue thought away with a cough.

Back to the mission.

Jaebum doesn’t like fish. Jaebum doesn’t like being woken up. Jaebum likes soft clothes, sitting on the windowsill and napping.

Jackson is learning, slowly but surely, and he is absolutely sure he’ll be able to call them friends soon enough.

He’s been at the library all day, steadfastly ignoring his next assignment, and digging through the stacks for books on hybrid history and culture and social structure.

The books earn him a curious look from the girl at the desk as she scans them, her own pair of floppy blonde puppy ears peeking out from amongst her matching dyed hair. He sends her a meek smile.

“My new roommate is a cat hybrid and I’m trying to be respectful,” He gestures vaguely to the books. “Some of them are a bit outdated but I guess I have to start somewhere.”

She laughs, clearly delighted by his idea, and Jackson’s heart may stutter a little in his chest at the sound. He has such a weakness for all things cute. “Well I think that’s very sweet.” She calls out to her coworker, a girl scrolling through her phone and pointedly ignoring her. “You hear that, Yoonsun unnie?” He’s being considerate to his hybrid boyfriend-“

“Oh he’s not-” Jackson stumbles, flushing at the words and almost drops his library card.

“-If only others were as kind and thoughtful!” She barks and Jackson can’t help but notice the way the other girl hides her giggle and smitten smile behind her phone.

“Byulie, you can’t keep stealing my clothes and pretending it’s just a scent thing,” Yoonsun sings back after she composes herself. “I know it’s because you don’t want to do your laundry!”

The library assistant frowns, a put out pout on her face, and Jackson reaches for his books with a smile.

“Thank you for your help!”

She perks up immediately, tail wagging happily behind her as she waves him goodbye and shoots him a wink, “Good luck with your kitty! Treat him right!”

* * *

There is a new throw on the couch when Jaebum comes home from work. It’s folded up neatly, corner to corner, and resting on top of a pillow. With extra thick fabric that he knows his claws won’t shred as quickly.

He eyes them both skeptically for an hour or so, eyes flicking to them every time he moves around the apartment. He sits on the windowsill and eats a snack and watches them. He moves to the kitchen counter to force himself to get through some revision but still can’t stop himself from looking over at them.

He gives up after his third time he realizes he’s missed a full ten minutes of the lecture recording and closes his laptop with a groan. It takes him another minute to force himself up and tip toes over to the couch to investigate the new things.

So what. He likes soft things. And the pillow looks very soft. And the blanket even more so.

And it is.

He’s glad he’s the only one home when he can’t hold in a purr at the feel of the fluffy softness against his skin. His hands play with it, unfolding it and kneading it into a nest for him to curl up in. It’s soft and light but still warm and the pillow is just the perfect firmness for him to rest his head on. He’s pretty sure he’s never been cozier in his entire life.

He closes his eyes just for a moment to rest them, worn out from classes and study, and before he knows it he’s drifting off into a nap.

He’s woken by the sound of the front door swinging open and he almost jumps out of his skin, knowing he’s caught stealing someone else’s things, and although he is a notorious thief he isn’t one for getting caught.

“Oh!” Jackson’s surprised voice calls out and Jaebum shifts anxiously. “I’m glad you’re enjoying your presents!”

Jaebum sits up at that, confusion clear in his expression and doesn’t even need to open his mouth to blearily ask what Jackson means before he shrugs and begins on his own. Jaebum isn’t sure if it’s just from the wind outside but Jackson looks a little pink around the edges.

“I never really apologized to you for waking you up and scaring you, and I guess since then things have been a little awkward between us,” He fiddles with his hoodie. Jaebum thinks it looks very soft. He adds it to his list of his roommates’ clothes he would like to steal. “So… Consider them a peace offering. And an apology. I’m sorry for invading your space.”

Jaebum isn’t sure he has the words to respond, hands still playing nervously with the blanket and furrowing his brows.

“Oh and I washed them after I bought them! I used your favorite fabric softener and everything so hopefully they don’t smell like me,” Jackson smiles so carefully Jaebum’s chest squeezes.

“I’m sorry for scratching you,” He looks down at his hands and misses the little jump Jackson’s eyebrows do in response to his soft words. “Did the scratches heal okay?’

“Of course!” Jackson assures and Jaebum guesses at least that can bring him some comfort. “You’ll need to do a little more than that to cause me any real harm.”

Jaebum smiles quietly, still not looking up and nods once. “Well I’m glad.” His eyes flick up and catch Jackson’s and he suddenly feels very self-conscious under his gaze. He pulls the blanket and pillow with him as he hurries from the room, a weak excuse of another nap on his lips as he closes the door and settles into the safe comfort of his bed. Where he can’t say, or do, anything stupid like ask Jackson to call him hyung or start purring again or tell him his things smelling like Jackson wouldn’t be so bad…

Jaebum really should get some more sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second half will be up ASAP it's pretty much done it's just 2am right now & I lack the ability to edit/write a satisfying final scene :(
> 
> just formatting this half and thinking of a title made me want to die so one step at a time *cue jordin sparks*
> 
> paula plz forgive me


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo...  
> #1 this is gonna be in three parts, this will be the longest (hopefully by far) section  
> #2 ao3 deleted my draft so this version i skim edited because my brain hurts and it's 3am. lmk if you find any errors!!  
> #3 enjoy buddiiiies

**Part 2.**

Jackson thinks they’re in a good place.

He still feels the rising flood of anxiety in his throat whenever they’re the only ones in the apartment, making stilted small talk over breakfast, or trying to settle on something to watch while Jackson channel surfs… But they’re in a good place.

So he knows that, he really does, but he’s still surprised when he arrives at the library to work on his assignment and after wandering around in search of a table for what feels like hours, he hears someone call his name.

And it’s Jaebum.

He’s seated by the window on the second floor, textbooks, laptop and countless pens and highlighters spread around him, but he’s clearly nodding towards Jackson so he shuffles over.

“Oh hello,” He greets him politely, adjusting his backpack strap and grimacing at the cutting weight of the textbooks he was still hauling around. Jaebum is wearing his favorite hoodie again, hands barely peeking out from the too long sleeves, and Jackson searches for somewhere to place his eyes.

“Are you looking for someone?” Jaebum asks, voice low and monotone, and Jackson laughs to hide his nerves.

“Oh no!” He finally forces himself to meet Jaebum’s eyes. They’re watching him carefully, the feline glint in them as distracting and nerve-wracking as ever, and he smiles awkwardly. “Just looking for somewhere to sit.”

The chair opposite Jaebum’s, and just a foot in front of Jackson, is shoved out suddenly and he jumps back in surprise. Jaebum’s ankles are hooked around its legs, pushing them out and when Jaebum gestures towards the seat with his eyes Jackson almost chokes on his own tongue.

“Oh no! I didn’t mean-“

“You don’t have to sit with me if you don’t want to,” Jaebum says sullenly, ears flattening to his head and turns back to his laptop.

Jackson sits down without another moment’s hesitation, stomach suspiciously full of a flock of very energetic butterflies, and he sends Jaebum a smile that the other boy misses. He’s too busy carefully piling his things back onto his side of the table, fingers still barely peeking out from his hoodie sleeves, and Jackson can’t help but watch.

He’s cute.

He’s so fucking cute and Jackson really needs to work on his assignment so he forces his eyes away and makes to set up his new space.

He lasts a full 10 minutes of work before he almost jumps in his seat, catching Jaebum’s attention with a wave and grinning, “I almost forgot! Thank you, by the way. For letting me sit here.”

Jaebum ducks his head, mouth twitching and almost preening at the words. Jackson swears he spots a hint of a smile before Jaebum responds with a quiet, “You’re welcome.”

* * *

It’s not a thing. As much as Jinyoung seems hell bent on believing it’s a thing. Jackson just has a lot of work to do and so does Jaebum and final exams are coming up so Jaebum is just being a good citizen and allowing him to share his table.

It’s not a thing.

“You’ve never once let me sit there with you,” Jinyoung points out and Jaebum sneers.

“That’s because you’re a brat.”

“And Jackson’s not?”

Jaebum’s teeth clamp down on his tongue, pulling his blanket tighter around his shoulders as he stretches up to reach his snack shelf. He’s taken claim of it, unofficially, and he peruses his growing collection before deciding on something sweet.

“Hyung?”

If he didn’t hate the sound of his voice hissing Jaebum would hiss at him, but instead he just sighs and turns to meet him with a glare, “What.”

He doesn’t see the use of adding the right inflection to make it a real question.

“I’ve been meaning to ask- where did you get that blanket?” Jinyoung is smiling, expression and tone so falsely innocent that Jaebum finds himself reconsidering his stance on hissing.

“I don't know. I wasn’t the one to buy it,” He says plainly, tearing the packet of candy open with his claws a little more aggressively than necessary.

“Oh okay,” Jinyoung hums, considering the admission. “And where did you get all of those snacks again?”

“I wasn’t the one to buy them,” Jaebum repeats and hates the proud smile it brings to Jinyoung’s lips. Smug asshole.

“Oh okay,” Jinyoung nods and Jaebum seizes the opportunity to escape. He’s almost to their bedroom door when he hears Jinyoung’s voice ring out, airy and pleased, and his stomach sinks. “Oh by the way hyung? I saw you and Jackson both had some laundry that needed washing so I threw one of his hoodies in with yours. I know your laundry might smell a little like him because of it but I’m sure you won’t mind!”

Jaebum hates his roommates. He hates every one of them. Even Mark, who has literally never done anything wrong to him. He hates them all. And he hates every decision in his life that has lead him to this point.

He throws himself back into his bed, claws out to knead angrily into his pillow until his breathing rate settles and he can curl up and fall into a much needed sleep.

* * *

Jackson wakes up with a crick in his neck and the unpleasant dampness of drool seeping through his shirtsleeve. He groans against his forearm, praying for another measly moment of sleep but is shocked awake by the sound of a snort.

It’s Jaebum, seated across from him at their- no _his_ \- table, eyes still focused on his laptop screen but his lips are stretched into a wide grin.

“Did you know you snore?” Jaebum murmurs, fingers still tapping away at his keyboard and Jackson groans.

“Oh no really?” He rubs his face aggressively, trying to force himself awake. “That’s so embarrassing.”

Jaebum is still grinning and Jackson wonders when that sight had become familiar to him. His eyes squish thinner, his teeth are frustratingly white and perfect, and Jackson could honestly cry. “It’s okay we’ve all been there.”

Jackson groans again, looking back at his laptop and taps the space bar a few times to make it wake up, “I can’t help it. I’m so exhausted.”

Jaebum hums, “And I guess sitting here doesn’t help.”

Jackson's groggy mind considers his words for a moment before he realizes what he’s talking about. It’s the glow of the afternoon sun, pouring through the tall glass window behind Jaebum and warming his skin. It makes him want nothing more than to curl up and drift off to sleep. “Wait! Is this why you always sit right here? For the sunlight? You sit here for the sunlight!” Jaebum’s ears tuck back, lips jutting out into a pout and Jackson can’t help laughing in delight. He’s really going to get them a noise complaint soon. “You’re secretly a huge softy!”

“I am not,” Jaebum frowns at him and Jackson can’t stop smiling.

“You are! I should have known! My grandma’s cat used to lie in any patch of sunlight he could find!”

Jaebum’s pout shifts into a glare, “I’m not a cat!”

Jackson realizes his mistake, raising his arms in defence and apology, “Oh no I know I’m sorry!” He considers his wording, trying to remember everything from his research. “I mean… I know that you’re more than just your hybrid characteristics… I really didn’t mean to be offensive I’m sorry.”

Jaebum deflates, ears lifting up slowly as he eases back into his seat, “No no it’s fine I know you didn’t.” He looks back at his laptop screen for a moment. “Some people just don’t get that we’re not the same. Like we’re different to humans but we’re different to our hybrid animal too.”

Jackson reaches out his hand without thinking, pulling back when Jaebum flinches away. It takes a minute for Jaebum to put his hand back and Jackson pats it just once for a brief moment. “Just tell me when I do or say things that are wrong, okay? I haven’t known that many hybrids in my life apart from my brother’s best friend and he’s a puppy hybrid and very literally an actual puppy, except 6 feet tall, so…”

Jaebum nods and Jackson grins.

“So please tell me when I say things that are wrong, Jaebum-sunbaenim!” He professes loudly and he's not sure if it's the formality or aegyo making Jaebum roll his eyes. He turns back to his assignment, just about to put his headphones back in when Jaebum stops him.

“You can just call me hyung, you know,” He says quietly, like admitting to something, and Jackson grins.

“You know back in Hong Kong we would be the same age-“

“Jackson!”

“Yes, hyung.”

He tries not to get too distracted by the pleased smile that it puts on Jaebum’s face.

He fails tremendously.

* * *

Jaebum doesn’t have a lot of friends.

It’s by personal choice really. He’d rather have a small number of close friends than a wide range of vague acquaintances. So it surprises everyone when Jackson slides into the space of another friend, filling a gap in his life Jaebum hadn’t realised was even empty.

He doesn’t exactly pursue hanging out with Jackson, not wanting to force the younger’s potentially unwilling company, but they somehow end up with the two of them alone together far more often than he’d expect.

Study sessions in the library. Food breaks in the cute little café just a block away. Returning to the apartment, squishing together on the crowded bus, to collapse onto the couch and watch reruns of whatever is playing until Jinyoung and Mark return home and force them to help with dinner.

It’s just nice.

To have a companion like that.

“Hyung? Hyung!” Jaebum stirs himself from his daydreaming, wondering whether or not Jackson would be home from class yet and want to watch a movie or something, and blinks rapidly at Youngjae. “Hyung if you’re too tired to-“

“No no,” Jaebum shakes his head to clear it, refocusing on his friend and shooting him an apologetic smile. Their final piece for their musical score composition class is due in two weeks and they can’t even seem to decide upon a genre to design it for. “We need to get this started!”

Youngjae’s raised eyebrow makes him appear considerably dubious but he gives in, scooting his chair closer to Jaebum’s in the empty rehearsal space, and pulling up a few more examples for them to consider. From the look of them Jaebum is pretty sure Youngjae has a shrine to Hans Zimmer built in his dorm room. Not that anyone could really blame him.

Its hours later, and finally with their genre decided and some basic veins to go from, they decide to call it quits.

He walks Youngjae back to his dorm room, unable to stop himself from acting like the older brother he never got to be, and sends his friend off with a smile.

He feels accomplished, if not a little weary, under the dim glow of fluorescent streetlights. He needs about four showers, three to thaw his frozen limbs and one to actually wash himself, and a long sleep, but his ears are perked up proudly as he heads towards the bus stop just off campus.

It’s later than he thought, almost 9, and he grimaces at the timetable. Another 15 minutes until the next bus. He knows that 15 minutes isn’t horrible, but with a growling stomach and a body longing for the comfort and warmth of his bed, it’s enough to make him a little miserable.

His fur prickles and he sighs, all too used to his hyper vigilant sensory system alerting him to non-existent threats, and moves to lean against the inside of the bus shelter out of the cold wind. He hopes the rat or whatever little creature is running around nearby and setting off his nerves hurries away soon.

He pulls out his phone and raises an eyebrow at the sight of 3 unread messages. The first is from Jinyoung, short and direct.

**Leftovers in the fridge. I’m working until 5am- I’ll try not to wake you**

It’s an empty promise because they both know there’s little that wouldn’t wake Jaebum, but he appreciates the sentiment.

Next are the other two messages from an unfamiliar number and he opens them with a bubble of curiosity stirring in his gut. 

**When are you going to be home! It’s past ur bed time young man >:(**

Jackson **.** Of course. He rolls his eye at the fact he couldn't be bothered to sign it off with his name, probably just assuming Jaebum would know who it was, before he realises he proved said assumption correct. He reads the next message to distract himself from the warmth in his chest. 

**Also you left ur keys here so u better be home before I fall asleep :)**

Ah shit. Jaebum reaches into his pocket, grimacing when his hand comes up empty and he sees Jackson is in fact correct and he forgot his keys in his rush to catch the bus to campus. Oh well. He’ll be home in about 20 minutes and he’s sure Jackson will still be awake.

Hopefully.

He really isn’t in love with the thought of sleeping on the floor outside their door.

**I’ll be home soon**

He spends what feels like hours deliberating on whether or not to add a smiley face before he groans and sends the message as is. He doesn’t even use emojis when he’s texting his mom. And she even uses the cat ones because she swears up and down they were designed deliberately for people like them. There’s really no reason for him to start using smiley faces to text Jackson.

He just hopes Jackson doesn’t think his brief message is intended to be rude... Crap.

**:)**

He sends it with a grimace, forcing himself to shove his phone back in his pocket and turn his eyes to the road to wait for the bus.

He’s shaken from his concentration by the sound of loud laughter, harsh in the night air, and his fur is standing on end once more. He pulls his hood over his ears, not liking the way it dampens his hearing and slightly obscures his peripherals, but it disguises them and makes him feel a little bit safer.

There’s nothing he can do about his tail though, too long and awkward, and he just tries his best to keep it close to his body and out of sight.

The voices are getting louder, separating into three distinct ones, and he pulls his backpack onto both shoulders instead of just the one. The men make their appearance after another minute, a trio of unsteady young men stomping past and his stomach falls when one pauses just past the stop.

“Yah!” The man slurs and Jaebum’s sensitive nose can’t miss the alcohol heavy on his breath, even from feet away. “My legs are fucking tired, let’s take the bus!”

The other two had continued on, play wrestling slightly too aggressively for Jaebum’s liking, but they stop at their friend’s words and turn back. Jaebum inhales a shaky breath.

He is tucked away, out of sight to those walking past without looking back, but it’s impossible three people waiting at the same stop as him would miss him.

Logically he knows they’re probably completely harmless, just a little intoxicated and rowdy after a night letting of steam, but when one of them catches sight of him and sends him a leering wave every lesson his mother instilled in him as a child comes rushing back him.

_“Stay in well lit areas.”_

_“Avoid catching public transport at night.”_

_“Make sure someone always knows where you are.”_

_“If all else fails- stay in a group.”_

Jaebum hopes his mother won’t be too angry with him for disobeying every one of them.

The bus is five minutes away and Jaebum spends that time tenser than he’s ever been. His shoulders are hunched in on himself, eyes kept down on the footpath and his ears anxiously twitching at any sound from where they’re tucked under his hood.

The man mostly stick to themselves, returning to their wrestling and arguing over who has cash left to pay.

It’s like every breath takes triple the effort, heaviness pushing down against Jaebum’s chest as he tries not to let himself get overwhelmed. They’re just three men. They’re probably harmless. Probably.

He knows it was too much to hope for them to be waiting for another bus, but his stomach still aches when they hail his bus as it arrives.

He lets them get on first, watches carefully as they make their way to the back of the bus, and purposefully selects a seat in the middle and next to the back door. He puts his backpack on the seat beside after a moment of deliberation.

Only 10 minutes. He only needs to sit through a 10 minute journey before he’s home and his skin will finally stop crawling.

He pulls out his headphones, only pops one in to make sure he can still have some awareness of his surroundings, and tries to turn his attention to the other people on the bus.

There’s an older woman, with a rolling bag stacked high with groceries and a copy of the day’s paper. There’s another pair that are clearly also students, two girls, heads tucked together as they share a pair of headphones. And lastly there is one more older man by the front, chatting away to the driver as they make their way through the still busy streets.

There’s a familiar sense of discomfort that settles into his gut when he sees he’s the only hybrid there.

The bus pulls into a stop, the older woman slowly rises to her feet and begins to make her way to the door as she pulls her bag along behind her, and the newspaper tumbles and rolls to the floor.

Jaebum jumps up to help without thinking, hood falling back from his head, and reaches down to retrieve it for her. He nods politely at her surprised thank you.

He doesn’t even realise his mistake until she’s off the bus, the doors slide closed and he hears a yell from the back. He slides back into his seat.

“A cat boy!” The man cries out, words slurred and too loud for the small space. Jaebum tenses at the term, pulls his hood back over his head and tugs his jacket tighter around him. “Oh no kitty don’t be like that…”

He keeps his body faced forward, tries to catch the eyes of the driver who is still in deep conversation with the man, and prays for his stop to come soon.

There’s a shuffling sound, a thump, and the seat behind Jaebum creaks.

A man is leaning over the seat beside him, a hand tugs at his hood and he flinches so hard he almost bangs his forehead against the seat in front. He is very thankful his backpack is big enough to occupy the entire seat beside him and is keeping him from being completely cornered.

“Well hello there little kitty,” The man slurs and Jaebum realizes he’s the same one who had waved at him earlier. He nods once without making eye contact. “Why do you cover your ears? Don’t you wanna-“ The man hiccups. Jaebum’s claws are biting into the soft skin of his palms. “Show them off.”

Jaebum’s mind is scattered, scrambling for the least confrontational way to respond, something to satisfy the man into leaving without prompting any anger. He is rattled, trapped between the cold metal of the bus’ wall and the man’s leering grin.

“Come back here you idiot!” One of the others yells, hand banging against the seat the man had vacated earlier, and Jaebum has to suppress the flood of relief trying to pass through him. The man is still there, he's still far too close and far too drunk, and Jaebum is still stuck. 

“You still owe me money!” A second adds, syllables wobbly with his inebriation.

Jaebum tries to tamp down a shiver when the man inhales and exhales loudly, breathing so close to him he feels the air brush the side of his cheek, and minutely relaxes when he makes to stand.

“Don’t worry kitty, I’ll be back soon.”

But there are only two more stops to go and Jaebum is already dialling his phone.

“Hello?” A groggy voice answers and Jaebum smiles for the first time in half an hour.

“Jackson,” He whispers, leaning down to try and keep out of sight while talking straight into the microphone. “Can you please come meet me at the bus stop?”

“Hyung?” Jackson is more alert now, concern lacing his tone as Jaebum hears the sound of him moving through the phone. “Are you okay?”

Jaebum hums non-committally, stomach still turning unpleasantly and his shoulders are about to cramp from how tense he is.

“I’ll be there in two minutes,” Jackson settles. “Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“No no,” Jaebum feels a little embarrassed at himself for making such a drama out of it. He’s sure it would’ve all been fine. But that small doubt is enough to make him feel like he can hardly breathe. “I’ll see you soon.”

It’s easier, knowing Jackson will be there, and he sits through the next two stops with relative ease. The girls get off the bus, the men are still rowdy and aggressive, but they stay in their seats and Jaebum holds his phone tight in his hand like a weapon. He’ll be home soon.

He practically sprints off the bus as soon as the doors open, eyes searching the dim light outside for that familiar figure. He breathes out a sigh of relief when Jackson calls his name.

He’s dragged a bleary eyed Mark along with him, wearing what appears to be his pajama bottoms with one of Jinyoung’s dad sweaters and a jacket over the top, but they’re both waving him over.

“Hi,” He sighs, rolling his eyes when Jackson tugs off his backpack to carry it for him despite his protests.

He knows Jackson is about to ask, mouth opened and eyes wide, when Jaebum hears the three exiting the bus behind him. Jackson’s eyes flick to them, Mark squares his shoulders and straightens his jacket, and they look to each other in apparent understanding.

Jaebum is practically herded back to the apartment after that, hands free of anything but his phone, and feeling a little like a child. Jackson locks the door behind them, hooking the chain they rarely use and turns to them with a nod.

Mark offers to put his backpack away, pulling it from Jackson’s back and leaves the Jaebum and Jackson standing by the door.

Jaebum finally feels like he can breathe fully again and takes a moment to enjoy that before the embarrassment kicks in.

“I’m sorry-“ He begins, but is cut off by Jackson pulling him in for a hug.

It’s unexpected, but not unwelcome, and he becomes intimately acquainted with the fact that Jackson is a really good hugger. His hands are rubbing Jaebum’s back, chin stretching up to rest on his shoulder, but he pulls away before Jaebum can even relax into it.

“Sorry I know you’re not a hugger,” Jackson laughs nervously before forcing himself to be stern. “Don’t apologize. Did those guys say anything to you?”

Jaebum shrugs, unable to keep Jackson’s serious gaze and fiddles with the strings of his hoodie, “Just one of them. He tried to touch my ears.”

He doesn’t know what he expects, a confused head tilt or maybe at most an apologetic smile, but he definitely doesn’t anticipate the way Jackson’s eyes widen with unfamiliar anger. He doesn’t expect the way his nostrils flare, his shoulders tense and the quiet cuss that slips from his lips.

“He did not!” Jackson huffs, hot air rushing from his mouth and when Jaebum meets his eyes again he sees the fire there. “If you ever have anyone acting like that around you again call me straight away. Don’t wait until you feel trapped like that.”

Jaebum grimaces, “No no it was really fine-“

Jackson shakes his head, “No. It wasn’t.”

He relents, “No. It wasn’t.”

Jackson nods, seemingly content and turns to the kitchen, “Okay now I’m going to get your food heated up and you’re going to go have a shower and rinse the smell of those stinky drunks off of you-“

“I don’t smell like them-“

“I can’t hear you,” Jackson sing songs, digging through the refrigerator and Jaebum bites back a smile.

“Okay…”

Jackson is singing softly to himself.

“And Jackson?”

“Mhmm?”

“Thank you.”

* * *

Jackson doesn’t want to read into things too much… But he’s pretty sure Jaebum actually likes him.

As a friend of course- Jackson’s not delusional- but still! FRIENDS!

They’re sitting on the couch, Jaebum is gnawing away at some lamb Jackson brought him home after tutoring, and Jaebum’s tail which had been swaying slowly in the air has come to a rest against Jackson’s thigh.

Jaebum doesn’t even seem to notice, on his phone and eating and watching TV all at once. He’s curled up around his pillow, feet tucked underneath him, but his tail is _resting against Jackson’s thigh_.

He wants so badly to touch it. He can’t feel it through the fabric of his sweatpants but he bets it’s as soft and silky as it looks. He could just reach down, trail a pinky over it and find out, but Jaebum is sitting there so content and Jackson knows he’ll either leave or at least yell at him if he touches it.

But it’s resting on his thigh.

“Hyung?”

Jaebum makes an inquisitive sound but doesn’t look over.

“What is your tail doing?”

Jaebum twitches at the question, hair on his tail fluffing up as he tucks it behind him, and if Jackson didn’t know any better he’d swear that was a light flush on Jaebum’s unfairly nice cheekbones.

“Hyung?”

Jaebum doesn’t reply this time, but Jackson notices he hasn’t scrolled on his phone or taken a bite of any more lamb in a few long seconds.

“Does your tail _like_ me?”

That seems to do it. Jaebum swears, shoves his plate into Jackson’s lap and storms into his room.

Jackson takes note of the fact he takes his pillow with him, held tight to his chest as he throws his tantrum.

* * *

 

Jaebum invites Youngjae over to work on their compositions without realizing Jackson has one of his rare full days off from tutoring or classes or assignments.

Jackson leaves them be for most of the day, in his and Mark’s room in the process of one of the cleans he habitually does where he tears the entire room apart only to remake it slightly neater. He only pops out every once in a while to grab himself a snack or some water.

On one of his trips he pauses to bring them some tea and Youngjae decides Jackson is his new adopted older brother. Jackson beams and Jaebum wonders if he needs to remind the pair they both already have brothers. But they’re laughing and smiling and Jaebum decides just to leave them be.

Jackson is carting a box of clutter to the garbage, propping the heavy door open with one of Jaebum’s shoes, when Jaebum notices him hovering in the doorway.

He tries not to feel self-conscious, not used to sharing his work with people outside of his teachers and classmates, so it’s a bit embarrassing when Jackson lets out an excited cry as the music ends.

“That’s so pretty!” He exclaims, placing his trash down to address them both.

Jaebum smiles weakly, noting down a slight change he wants to add in, and Youngjae spins around all too happy to chat with his roommate.

“So it’s for an imaginary film score?” Jackson is checking with genuine interest in his tone that Jaebum appreciates. There's nothing false about Jackson. The only time he's ever one to lie is to save someone's feelings. Jaebum appreciated it a lot. “What type of film are you designing it for? Did you get to pick?”

Jaebum doesn’t know why he says it, a bold faced lie that has Youngjae looking at him like he’s lost his mind, “Action.”

“Oh!” Jackson’s eyebrows rise. “Really?”

“No?” Youngjae elbows him, turning back to Jackson. “It’s designed for a romantic film. Jaebum-hyung suggested it.”

Jackson coos, hands clasping together in delight and Jaebum knows from the warmth in his face he’s definitely a little red, “Action films can be romantic.”

Youngjae releases a bark of laughter, “But this one is only a romantic film.”

Jaebum makes a mental note to brush his tail over Youngjae’s sweater as much as possible before he leaves. He may not be enough of a cat to fully trigger Youngjae’s allergies, but he should be close enough to have him sniffling for a while.

“I thought it would be the easiest genre to match the tone to,” He excuses, jotting down some pointless words just to avoid meeting anyone’s eyes.

“Aw Jaebum-hyung is a little bit of a romantic!”

“He’s a huge romantic,” Youngjae teases.

Jaebum changes his mental note to brush his tail over Youngjae’s jacket and scarf too.

* * *

 

Jackson doesn’t turn his music playing from his laptop back on when he returns to his room.

He hopes Jaebum doesn’t notice, because it’s admittedly a little creepy to be listening from the other room, but he can’t help it.

Jaebum hums along with Youngjae, voice rising and falling through the notes easily, and Jackson decides it’s incredibly unfair that cat hybrids don’t get the same level of singing ability as cats.

Jaebum is so good and talented and he just wants to lie on the ground and listen to him sing until he stops wanting to die. Jaebum is singing with Youngjae now, the pair's voices weaving in and out of each other's, and he falls face first into his bed to suppress a squeal. 

Hasn’t he suffered enough?

* * *

 

Jaebum has been so involved in his composition and his other impending final assessment he has forgotten to do other things. Like his laundry.

He eyes his shelves, empty from almost everything but things he saved for special occasions and a pair of jeans he was pretty sure he hadn’t worn since his last year of high school.

He tries to pull them on and groans when they barely get over his thighs.

Sweatpants it is.

He pulls a reasonably clean pair on, smells his shirts and whines when they all smell horribly lived in. If he was a human maybe it'd be fine, but his frustratingly sensitive nose can smell every hour he spent in it. He'd rather go shirtless that force himself into it. 

Jinyoung’s wardrobe is almost as bad, and what is left is clothing Jaebum wouldn’t be caught dead in. No man ever needed a sweater vest.

He slinks into the shared area, finding the apartment thankfully empty, and slides through the open door of Jackson and Mark’s room.

Plenty of Mark’s things are clean, but Jaebum eyes the soft hoodie folded up on Jackson’s bed and grabs it. The familiar scent of Jackson is heavy in the cotton and he allows himself to appreciate it for a moment or two before clearing his head.

It’s only for him to wear while he uses the laundry downstairs, he reminds himself. It’s only to make sure he doesn’t get kicked out of the apartments for wandering in the stairwells shirtless and freezing and scaring one of their elderly neighbours on the lowest floor. He’s not to keep it. He’s not a clothing thief like Jackson.

He gathers his clothes into a basket, props it on his hip, and slides on a pair of slippers. He’s down one flight of stairs, headphones playing happily away in his ears, when he spots Jackson coming back from the gym. He’s halfway down a flight of stairs, no escape in sight, and he prays Jackson will be too absorbed with his phone to look up and notice who he's passing.

Because there is no good in the world he spots Jaebum before they're even close, “Hyung!” He runs up, pausing two steps down from Jaebum with a shy smile. “Sorry I probably stink especially bad to you right now, huh?”

He doesn’t smell particularly good, sweat and grime clinging to his skin, but underneath there’s still that same warmth of Jackson and Jaebum feels himself laugh awkwardly. “It’s fine! I’m used to your smell by now.”

Used to it, he thinks, what a joke. Jackson’s laugh matches his, hand ruffling his hair nervously and Jaebum tries not to notice the way his clothes cling to his skin, “Uh so…”

“I’ll see you later-“

“Oh hey- isn’t that my hoodie?”

Shit. So close. Jaebum winces, “Uh I didn’t have anything clean to wear while I did laundry I’ll take it off-“

“No no-“ Jackson shakes his head and Jaebum is a little relieved he doesn’t have to strip off right there in the stairwell. “It’s fine really! Just uh… Surprising.”

Jaebum bites his tongue, tail flicking nervously behind him as he eyes the stairs over Jackson’s shoulder with a fair bit of longing.

“So anyway-“

“I better go shower!” Jackson decides, pulling his gym bag tight over one shoulder. “Happy washing!”

“You too!” Jaebum says stupidly and immediately wants to throw himself down the stairs and prove to everyone that no, the myth about cats always landing on their feet does not apply to hybrids.

“Huh?”

“Happy uh,” Jaebum shoves past Jackson, turning back and gesturing vaguely to Jackson as he walks away. “Washing your body.”

“Oh!”

“Well... Bye then!”

This is what Jaebum gets for trying to be an adult and wash his own clothes. Never again. 

* * *

Jackson is pretty sure his eyes are about to fall out of his head. Just fall out. Gone. Out. They’ll fall out and roll off the table, onto the floor and out the door.

He rubs aggressively at them, black spots appearing briefly in his vision until he blinks them away. He groans, kicks his feet up onto the couch next to him and tries to focus back on his extensive notes. His eyes are aching and he longs for the pair of reading glasses tucked away in his bedside table and gathering dust. But his body aches at the mere thought of standing up and he slides further into the couch.

“Wear them every time you study for long hours,” The optometrist had drilled into him all those years ago when his pouting teenager self had been prescribed them. “Don’t strain your eyes!”

He snorted at the memory. He wondered if cramming for 10 hours, sleeping for 4, sitting through a 3 hour exam and then heading straight back home to drill into his mind whatever other knowledge he could before the next day’s exam counted as _long hours_.

He’s squinting down at the page, trying to ignore the headache beginning to knock against the back of his skull, when their front door opens and Mark practically falls inside. Jackson looks up and laughs at the sight of his friend almost out on his feet.

“So tired,” Mark whines, stumbling out of his shoes and somehow making it to the sofa. Jackson reaches for him with grabby hands splayed and pouts at Mark’s bemused expression. He’d like to think it’s the persuasive strength of his pout that makes Mark cave, but he’s pretty sure it’s the fact Mark has gotten even less sleep than him in the past week. He drops his hands and pats the space next to him, sliding to the back of the couch to give Mark a place to lie beside him. He grunts when Mark falls into it and almost elbows him in the face in the process.

Physically Mark is taller but he tucks himself into Jackson’s side, showing a rare moment of weakness as he sighs.

“Long day?” Mark grunts in a way that Jackson has long learnt means yes. “Same here.”

Mark just wriggles, rolls onto his side and pulls out his phone to balance on Jackson’s sternum as he lazily scrolls through it. Jackson hums, considers the notes he was reading that he’s now crushing behind his back, and decides he can use a short break.

They lie there, Mark’s scrolling and breaths slowing as Jackson taps a vague pattern on his shoulder, until their exhaustion becomes too much. Mark’s phone falls flat on Jackson’s chest, eventually falling asleep with it’s owner, and Jackson’s mind can’t hold onto any idea but the need to relax deeper into the soft cushions.

Jackson isn’t sure how long they’ve been asleep when he wakes up, but his muscles ache pleasantly and if not for the crick in his neck he could actually feel a little rested. Mark is asleep on his arm and it takes his eyes a long moment to focus enough to even comprehend that. He purses his lips, considers the horrible taste in his mouth and the way his stomach is grumbling, and wonders whether waking Mark up to go get a snack would make him a terrible best friend.

He jolts at the sound of laughter and winces when Mark wakes with a curse.

“Aw the two sleeping beauties are awake,” He hears Jinyoung’s voice call and can’t help but grin. He’s weak for flattery, even if Jinyoung literally just ruined the greatest nap he’s had in weeks. “Just in time!”

“Food?” Mark grunts, suddenly two hundred percent more awake and rolls off the couch in his effort to get to his feet.

“Food,” Jinyoung confirms and Jackson cheers, arms stretching up as he releases a loud yawn. “Now go get Jaebum-hyung and tell him I bought him his favourite chicken.”

“Hm?” Jackson questions, thinking he must have misheard. “Jaebum?”

“He said he should be home by now,” Jinyoung says, brow furrowed until it smoothes with an apparent realization. “Ah I get it.”

Jackson is still too sleepy to catch up and he just watches on, laughing at the way Mark is happily taking the bags of food from Jinyoung’s arms with a shining smile.

Jinyoung just shrugs vaguely when he sees Jackson’s still curious gaze, “Don’t worry I’ll get him.”

Jackson shrugs and forces himself up, mindlessly helping Mark clean up the space for dinner, as Jinyoung knocks sharply on his bedroom door and shoves it open without even waiting for a response.

He wonders how exhausted Jaebum must have been to come home and go straight to his room without even waking him or Mark. He hopes his exam went okay. He knows he sometimes doesn’t want to talk to people when he’s disappointed in his performance.

He can’t make out the words Jinyoung is saying, but he can hear his frustrated tone in his raised voice until it breaks out into laughter. He returns from their room soon enough, dragging a dark eyes Jaebum behind him, and Jackson grins.

“Jaebum-hyung!” He greets, patting the empty space beside him and gasping when Jaebum actually accepts his offer and sits beside him.

Jaebum is frowning into his dish, playing with a piece of chicken, but Jackson swears he picks up the shadow of a smile as he begins to eat.

* * *

Jaebum’s last piece of assessment for the year is horrible. It’s a three-hour long final on musical theory worth 60% of his final grade, without any sections on practical application, and by the end of it his hand has cramped at least twice. He doesn’t even want to talk about the ink smudged down the side of his hand, black ink from his knuckle to his wrist, that he knows will take days to fade. Being left handed is hard.

The bus trip home is short but still too long and he falls asleep in his seat before it even leaves the stop. It’s only through some divine intervention he wakes before he needs to get off, stumbling to his feet and hurrying out the door.

He eyes the remaining walk with distinct distaste, prays for the energy for his legs to take him the rest of the way to the apartment before they give out, and wishes he’d thought to buy himself another coffee before he headed home.

It had been a painfully long day and an even longer week and he wants nothing more than to lie on the couch in the afternoon sun. It’s Jinyoung’s turn to make dinner, he has no more assessment and he knows once he gets through those doors he is free to do absolutely nothing for as long as he wants.

He isn’t sure who will be there when he gets home, but he knows Jackson only has one more exam after the one he had that morning, so he hopes his friend might be not completely unwilling to listen to him whine about his tiredness.

Jackson is a bit of a complainer, as much as he hates to admit it, so Jaebum is pretty sure he’s earned back the right to whinge about his day to him without feeling guilty. So he hopes Jackson is home, and not too worried about his next exam to chat for a moment before Jaebum lies in the sun and falls asleep for 15 straight hours.

But it’s not to be.

He opens the door and squeezes out of his shoes and is in the middle of pulling off his coat when he catches sight of Mark and Jackson snuggled up together on the couch asleep.

Mark is cuddled into Jackson’s side Jackson’s free hand resting on his shoulder and the pair are breathing so in sync it’s like they’re one person. They look content, if not a little cramped in the small space, and there comes that same intermingled scent of them he remembers from their bedroom. They fit against each other so easily and Jaebum doesn’t think he likes the way it makes his chest feel.

They’re best friends. Jaebum has a best friend, and sure he’s not one to show Jinyoung such open displays of affection by snuggling up to him on the couch, but that doesn’t mean he has any reason to be jealous.

But Jackson’s breath hitches and his arm tightens around Mark as he burrows further into his side and Jaebum’s plans to lie in the sun are immediately forgotten as he heads straight to his room.

He’s feeling exhausted and lonely and a little bit disoriented after his exam, so it’s only natural for strange feelings to be stirring in his gut.

He knows it’s childish but he shoves the blanket and pillow Jackson gifted him off the bed. It takes him ten minutes of trying to make a comfortable cocoon for himself with just his sheets before he admits defeat and reaches for them again.

Despite his exhaustion and endless love for napping, it’s the hardest falling asleep has been for him in months.

* * *

Jackson isn’t sure if it’s his own overactive insecurities or not, but he’s pretty sure Jaebum is acting weird around him.

Maybe it’s because of the Christmas break or maybe it’s nerves over waiting for his results or maybe it’s just the exhaustion from a long semester but Jaebum is acting just… Distant.

“Mark!” He calls out, neatly folding up a pair of jeans only to turn to his already overstuffed bag and cry out in despair. He forces them in, prays to the lord that the zipper won’t break and returns to his search for his final thing to pack. “Have you seen my white shirt I wore last week?”

“Be more specific,” Mark replies from where he’s lying on the sofa with no apparent concern for the fact their train leaves in two hours and his own bag remains completely empty. Jackson wishes he could also maintain that level of don’t-give-a-fuckedness but he’s undoubtedly come across as a douchebag.

“Have you checked the clothing hamper?” Jinyoung suggests, calmly reading a book on the couch as Mark slides down in the sofa and shoves his toes under his knees to keep them warm. Unlike the rest of them Jinyoung isn’t leaving for a few more days after being unable to get extra time off around Christmas from his work.

Jackson has as much time as he wants with few people needing tutoring while school is out and his heart hurts a little for his friend. Jinyoung works so hard and studies even harder and he wishes he could give some of his break to his friend. But he still rolls his eyes at his response.

“Yes I’ve checked the laundry basket,” Jackson gripes. “I’m not a complete idiot.”

“You sure?” Mark adds.

Jackson really regrets suggesting to his parents they invite Mark’s family to join them for Christmas. He really should just leave Mark in Seoul and tell them he was too busy staring at himself in the mirror or moisturising his stupidly perfect skin or something to come home.

He stalks into the living area, sparing a second to hit Mark square in the stomach with a pillow, before he searches the room. His shirt isn’t behind the cushions, under the furniture, stuck between it and the wall, nor is it anywhere in the kitchen. When every possibility comes up negative he releases an extended groan.

“Not again.”

This time he pauses after knocking, patiently awaiting the low “come in” before he pushes the door open to Jinyoung and Jaebum’s room. He pauses in the doorway, making sure Jaebum really is happy with him coming inside before he ventures any further.

Jaebum is leaving that afternoon too, but his things are already packed in a bag sitting neatly beside his bed. He’s lying on his stomach, tail swaying mindlessly through the air behind him and staring at Jackson with undisguised curiosity.

“Yes?”

If he were chatting to Mark he might sit on the bed beside him, he might smooth down the piece of hair not sitting quite even against his forehead and his stomach might not be buzzing with nerves. But he’s not chatting to Mark and that fact, and the memory of his previous experience in this room, have him moving to perch on the edge of Jinyoung’s mattress instead.

“Ah have you seen a white shirt of mine anywhere?” He forces his fingers to stop fiddling with each other and directs his vision to anything but the sight of barefoot Jaebum curled up comfy in his bed. Unlike the last time he was in there he can take a moment to breathe and in desperately avoiding Jaebum’s gaze he can actually take in the space around him. It’s neat, not necessarily neater than his and Mark’s, but it’s neat. The main distinction between theirs and his rooms is the clear divide between the two. Years of close friendship and living close had lead to boundaries of ownership being more than a little blurry between Mark and Jackson, but looking at Jinyoung's and Jaebum's distinct seperate spaces it's a completely different story. He wonders if it's Jaebum or Jinyoung's doing. “It’s the long sleeved one with the pocket on the right?”

Jaebum is silent for a moment, thinking, before he shifts onto his knees and crawls over to the pile of clean laundry still folded on the end of his bed. He sifts through the clothes before he makes a quiet ‘aha’ and presents Jackson with his shirt and a meek smile, “Sorry Jinyoung must’ve sorted our clothes wrong.”

Jackson just smiles and is about to leave when he realizes this is the first real opportunity he’s had to talk to Jaebum since exams and he’s not entirely sure that’s just a coincidence. “So-“

Jaebum looks to him, an eyebrow raised and he wilts under his gaze.

“Excited to go home for Christmas?”

Jaebum’s expression shifts at that and sits back against the wall and Jackson can’t say he likes the space between the pair of them, “Yeah… I don’t think anyone could be more excited than my Mom though.”

“Of course she’s excited!” Jackson almost yells, a little too emphatic but it makes Jaebum flush slightly so he figures it’s worth coming across as a little weird. He takes a moment to reposition him on Jinyoung's bed, eying the stacks of pillows and blankets. Jinyoung's is plain and practical and Jaebum has so many pillows Jackson can see some stuffed under the bed. He wonders who's bed he would've assumed belonged to who only months ago. “Her only son,” Jaebum corrects and Jackson shrugs it off because it’s all the same, really.

They’re smiling at each other, something still shifting awkwardly in the air between them, but Jackson can ignore it for the sake of enjoying the moment.

But then the moment passes and the tension and silence become a little stifling. He slaps his hands together, wincing when the sudden sound makes Jaebum jump and his tail fluff out, and decides it’s probably best for him to run before he says something wrong and makes Jaebum go back to avoiding him completely.

“Sorry sorry!” He jumps to his feet, tucking his shirt under one arm as he takes quick steps towards the door. “I better get back to packing I guess.” Jaebum is still watching him, mouth opened with unsaid words, but Jackson should really get out of there. He’s probably annoying Jaebum by ruining his last day of quiet privacy before he heads home. “Thanks for my shirt!”

* * *

Jaebum sits in the front seat next to Jinyoung, fidgeting with the collar of his coat and skipping the end of the songs coming from the speakers every few minutes.

Mark and Jackson are tucked into the back of Jinyoung’s small two door car, but the bags on their laps don’t seem to bother them as they chat away happily and share funny videos on their phones. Jaebum has to bite down a comment telling them they’ll have used up all their data before they even get to the train.

He shoves away his petulant thoughts and the lingering worry in his mind why Jackson is keeping him at a distance compared to everyone else and skips another three songs before they reach the train station.

“Have a happy Christmas you two!” Jackson announces when it comes time for them to part ways, Jaebum to his own platform and Jinyoung to head back to his car and then soon to work. “Jinyoungie don’t forget you promised you would pick us up from the station okay?”

Jaebum snorts at Jinyoung’s heavy sigh, “I promise not to forget Jackson. Don't think I could if I tried.”

Yet still Jackson offers him pouted lips, pleading eyes and his pinky and Jaebum can’t blame Jinyoung for linking them in a promise. Jackson cries out in excitement and giggles when Jinyoung uses his hold to pull him into his side and mess up his hair. Jaebum notices how easily Jackson fits under Jinyoung’s shoulder and looks down to check the time on his ticket for the fourth time.

“Ah stop!” Jackson slips out from under Jinyoung’s arm, hands clapping together as he smiles so widely his eyes almost disappear. “I’m so excited for Christmas! Next year we should all get each other presents.”

“Are you sure we’re still going to be living together?” Jaebum quizzes and grins at Jackson’s offended gasp.

Jackson’s lips are pursed, the flicker of emotion behind the words at the tip of his tong shows in his eyes, and Jaebum is fully prepared for the onslaught when Mark reaches out and tugs at the waist of Jackson’s jacket. His attention is gone from Jaebum just like that.

“Come on Jackson, we’ll miss our train.”

“So _now_ you worry about us being late,” Jackson bemoans and shoves his best friend’s arm off.

Then Jaebum finds himself on the receiving end of Jackson’s attention once more, a wide smile that doesn’t match his eyes as he hovers in the space between them. Jaebum isn’t sure what he’s waiting for, a wave or a nod or maybe even a hug? He doesn’t know exactly, but when Jackson raises a hand only to run it through his hair he can’t help feeling a little let down.

“Enjoy your break!”

He watches as Mark and Jackson hurry away, arms linked and heads bowed together as they talk, and turns back to say goodbye to Jinyoung.

He doesn’t like the pitying look in his friend’s eyes.

* * *

“That was so fucking awkward,” Mark mutters in his ear as they hurry away.

Jackson feels his face heat up and walks even faster, “Shut up.”

* * *

 

At first Christmas is a nice escape from everything.

Jaebum purrs when his mother scratches his scalp with her claws and retreats when she tells him he needs to groom his tail. His father just laughs from the side and tells them he thinks he looks fine.

“No wonder he always looks like a mess with you as his role model!” His mother whines as she tries to tidy his hair. “We’re cat hybrids. We’re supposed to have some pride in our appearance!”

Jaebum shrugs and his father shoots him a grin.

His mother throws her hands up in the air in despair, “This is what I get for marrying a human. I should’ve known better.”

“Yeah but who else would snake the drain when your tail is shedding and it clogs,” His father hums as he pulls her in for a hug and Jaebum’s chest warms at the sight of the two of them. There were countless things that kept them apart, countless people who sneered at the sight of them, a human and a hybrid flaunting their love when few dared to, but they’ve been married almost 25 years and he’s a little bit biased but he’s never seen a happier couple.

His father takes the moment of quiet to catch his eye, “So…” Jaebum tries not to grimace, preparing himself for the questions to come. “How is university? Staying out of trouble? Have any good professors? Any interesting classes? Meet any _nice_ young people?”

* * *

 

Jackson eats enough food to make himself feel like an overstuffed sausage. Mark is having a post-meal nap, his brother is off somewhere expending his endless energy wrestling with his best friend and Jackson pulls his phone out of his pocket.

He makes a new group text, titles it _Roomies_ followed by several love hearts and a house emoji, and writes a message.

**Merry Christmas my most beloved roommates! I hope you’re all eating well and staying healthy!!! Missing you sooo much xx**

He adds a few more kisses for good measure. He prides himself in being an affectionate person.

* * *

Jaebum isn’t feeling down exactly but it’s a little bit of a relief when he returns to the familiarity of the apartment. The holidays can get a little lonely when you’re an only child and your phone is constantly being bombarded with pictures of Jackson and Mark happily celebrating with their combined families.

“I’m not jealous,” He mumbles when Jinyoung returns from work to find him home, a day earlier than scheduled and wrapped up in his blanket on the sofa. “Not for the reasons you think.”

Jinyoung hums and waits for him to move his legs so he can sit down, “So for what other reason are you jealous of your two friends enjoying themselves together over Christmas?”

Jaebum doesn’t want to say anything so he stares at the roof and prays for Jinyoung to drop the topic. He’s not so lucky.

“I will send them a picture of you laying here, pouting and wrapped in your safety blanket and I promise you no matter what you do to my phone afterwards they will never delete their copies.”

Jaebum fixes him with a glare and Jinyoung doesn’t even flinch, “Fine!” He shoves himself up, crossing his arms across his chest and avoiding eye contact. “It’s just become a little obvious that Jackson is uncomfortable around me. He’s different with me than he is with you and Mark.”

It sounds so whiny, so pitiful, that his stomach turns in embarrassment but Jinyoung considers it, “Do you mean with how touchy he is?”

Jaebum grimaces, “Yeah.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes heavenward, “Jackson is a very physically affectionate person with his friends.”

“So he doesn’t think we’re friends-“ Jaebum hates how choked up his voice comes out.

“Oh stop it,” Jinyoung grumbles. “You know you’re friends. But also if you weren’t so busy stewing in your jealousy you’d realise there’s a reason Jackson is hesitant to intrude on your personal space and be as touchy with you as he is with the rest of us.”

“Oh,” A light flicks in his head and his stomach drops. He stretches out his fingers, nails lengthening and he considers their sharp points with unease. "I didn't think you knew about that."

Jinyoung shrugs, “I walked in on Jackson covering the scratches in antibacterial gel one morning. I put two and two together.”

“It was an accident-“

“I know-“

“I didn’t mean to-“

“I know.”

Jaebum groans.

“So are you going to keep pouting and thinking Jackson hates you and making both of you suffer or are you going to go back to being his friend?”

Jaebum jabs a pointed toe into the side of Jinyoung’s ribs, “Don’t forget who is the hyung here you brat!”

* * *

 

Jackson returns to Seoul and things seemingly return to normal, except maybe a little different.

Starting with the proximity thing. Jaebum doesn’t flinch out of his space anymore, his tail resting against Jackson when they sit on the couch becomes a regular occurrence and he even once dozes off and is sitting so close to Jackson, his head falls onto his shoulder.

Jackson doesn’t move for two hours even though he really needs to pee and his stomach is growling like a lion.

Next is the sharing. He shares with Jackson half of his coveted blanket, he hands Jackson a lamb skewer even though he bought them all for himself, he even offers Jackson his hoodie when he’s hurrying to a class at the gym and can’t find anything to keep himself warm for his journey there.

He pulls it off over his head and Jackson’s brain slows to a standstill, staring blankly at the outstretched item of clothing until Jaebum shakes it in his face and he hurtles back to reality.

“Oh no I couldn’t,” He protests, not entirely sure why arguing when he knows firsthand just how soft and warm it will be. “I’m sure you don’t want it stinking of me again.”

Jaebum looks away, a small frown pulling at the edges of his lips and moves to put the hoodie back on, “If you don’t want to wear it that’s fine-“

“No wait!” Jackson giggles nervously at Jaebum’s curious gaze. “No I guess I’m really in a hurry and it’s still freezing outside. And I can just wash it for you after I wear it!”

He misses Jaebum’s quiet protest as he sprints out the door, almost tripping down the stairs when his untied laces catch under his feet.

* * *

 

“You’re getting a bit ridiculous, you know that right?” Jinyoung mutters from the kitchen where he’s sitting in his robe, sipping at his morning coffee and perusing the day’s paper.

“Shut up you old man.” 

* * *

 

The hoodie is even softer than he remembers and Jackson isn’t sure if it’s the fleece lining or the strange warmth in his chest from wearing it, but he doesn’t get cold once the entire day.

* * *

 

Jaebum really should not have let Jinyoung convince him to apply around campus and their apartment for a job.

_“It looks better on your resume!”_

_“You need something to do other than sleeping all day!”_

_“I’m not buying you any more food spend your own money.”_

He doesn’t even care any more. His back hurts from standing behind the register all day, his face hurts from forcing a smile every time a customer walked up and he has been awake since before 8 that morning. Working is horrible.

But at least he hadn’t been forced to wear one of the awful uniform hats because they didn’t have any with holes for his ears. Sometimes being a hybrid had its perks.

He drags his feet up the stairs, shoves his key in the lock and opens the door to the scent of dog.

He pauses, left shoe halfway off his foot and frowns at the empty space.

Jinyoung is at the diner. Mark is probably asleep in his room. Or hanging out with his friends. Or working the mysterious part time job that made him enough money for Jaebum to suspect involvement in something illicit. And Jackson… Jaebum really has no clue where Jackson is.

He sniffs around the living area, taking in the scent of unfamiliar people and salty snacks and wonders whether Jackson had taken it upon himself to throw a mini party in the few hours the apartment was empty.

Maybe he was just catching up with some friends or some of his tutoring students then? But then there’s the hovering scent of dog that Jaebum just can’t ignore.

Jaebum isn’t exactly a hater of dogs. He’s not a stereotype. He likes Youngjae’s family’s dog, even will play fetch with her when she brings him a stick, but he’s pretty sure pets aren’t allowed in the apartment according to their lease and he prays nobody saw noticed Jackson sneaking a puppy inside and reported them.

“Oh god what if he’s trying to keep a dog in here,” He groans. Jackson is loving and sweet hearted and he knows if he found a stray puppy on the street on his way home there was a good chance he would want to keep it. “Oh no.”

His panicked monologue is interrupted by the door opening behind him and he turns to see Jackson grinning at him. And on either side of Jackson, both easily towering over him, is a tanned boy with a bright smile and a puppy hybrid with a smile equally so.

“Hyung!” Jackson cries out, hurrying over and Jaebum is no longer surprised when he pulls him in for a hug. “I would like to introduce you to my brother Bambam and his best friend Yugyeomie!”

“Bambam?” Jaebum says stupidly and Jackson shrugs.

“Legally: Kunpimook,” Jackson corrects.

“Kunpimook?” Jaebum repeats, no less confused than before.

“Thai,” Jackson states, as if it’s all the explanation anyone could need.

“Adopted,” The tan boy, Bambam, adds.

The moment hovers, Jaebum’s brain takes a minute to run through it all and recalibrate and then he puts on his best smile. “Welcome!”

Bambam and Yugyeom bow back and if Jackson had his own tail Jaebum is sure it would be a puppies' and it would be wagging nonstop.

“We went out for barbeque,” Jackson grins and Jaebum can’t help but pout a little. “Don’t worry I brought you some food home too.”

Bambam holds up a bag and Jaebum realizes he must have been incredibly thrown by the two new people in the room to miss the smell of that.

“You’re the best,” He states, not entirely sure to whom the comment is directed as he hurries over to take it from Jackson’s brother. He’s sitting on the couch, already a third of the way through his meal when he realizes he should probably engage with the guests. Yugyeom is half wrestling with Jackson over a glass of water but Bambam is sitting on the one person couch beside him watching the pair so Jaebum shoots him the question. “So how long are you two in town?”

Bambam seemingly forgets about the ongoing battle for Jackson’s favourite glass in the kitchen and turns to Jaebum with a wide grin, “Just for the day! Jackson said he can get Jinyoung to drive us to the train station tonight or first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Oh!” He is not good at small talk. What has he gotten himself into. “So have you enjoyed Seoul?”

“Yes!” Bambam’s eyes are earnest and bright and Jaebum figures it must be a family trait. “Although Jackson mostly only showed us around campus because we’re starting here in a month.”

“Wow,” Jaebum mulls it over. “So does that mean you’ll be living with your hyung?”

Jackson wrestles his favourite cup away and slips out from Yugyeom’s reach just in time to let out an offended gasp, “Jaebum-hyung are you trying to kick me out! After all we’ve been through?”

Jaebum sighs, “No Jackson-ah, I’m just asking a question-“

“We’re going to live in the dorms,” Yugyeom fills in as he follows Jackson into the room, smile surprisingly meek for someone trying to throw Jackson across the room just minutes ago. “We have already put in our request to room together.”

“Roomies!” Bambam cheers and Yugyeom joins in.

The sofa dips as Jackson joins Jaebum, leaning into his side and inspecting non-existent bruises from his wrestling on his arms.

“You know what? I’m never trusting anyone with what they say about puppy hybrids and cat hybrids again,” He is pouting so Jaebum offers him a piece of meat. He bites it straight off his chopsticks without a moment’s hesitation and Jaebum’s heart definitely doesn’t stutter like a preteens.

“Why’s that?”

Jackson is glaring at Yugyeom who is in the middle of rapid conversation with Bambam about something neither of them will ever be able to decipher. Yugyeom’s tail is wagging behind him and Jaebum decides he isn’t sure he’d like a tail that wagged like that. Having one that stiffens at a moments notice and flicks around whenever anything annoyed him was inconvenient and frustrating enough.

“Puppy hybrids are definitely not always nice like everyone claims,” Jackson bumps his head against Jaebum’s shoulder. “I know a cat hybrid who is way nicer to me.”

Jaebum is thinking up a reply, trying to come up with a light and teasing way to remind Jackson they weren’t always like that, when the front door opens and his thoughts are broken by Bambam’s excited yell.

“It’s THE Mark Tuan!” He leaps from the couch and hurries over and Yugyeom follows after him like a lost puppy. Jaebum snorts at the thought and flushes when Jackson shoots him a confused look.

There are some things he should keep to himself.

* * *

Jackson keeps his eyes firmly on the television and ignores everything in his peripherals. He definitely cannot see Jinyoung and Mark fully absorbed in the action. He absolutely cannot see Jaebum half falling asleep beside him. He certainly cannot see Yugyeom leaning against the foot of Bambam’s seat, cheering whenever there’s a particularly big explosion. And he absolutely, positively cannot see the knowing looks Bambam is shooting him every 2.5 seconds.

Maybe if he keeps telling himself that it’ll end up coming true. Fuck.

Jaebum’s arm shifts around him and his fingers brush against the side of Jackson’s neck and he’s pretty sure he just have an aneurysm.

Bambam sends him a wink.

He wonders how much convincing it would take for his parents to un-adopt Bambam.

He doesn’t mean to be so transparent. He’s not one to be so obvious with where his affections lie. He’s an affectionate person in general but the fact his brother has been there for about 4 minutes and already has mimed some not PG-13 actions in his direction when Jaebum wasn’t looking isn’t something he’s proud of. He should shift out from under Jaebum’s arm, share some of his affection with Mark or Jinyoung or literally anyone who doesn’t have his heart tripping, but the memory of a Jaebum who wouldn’t even let Jackson sit next to him is too fresh for him to have the willpower. No matter how smug Bambam’s grin is becoming.

Jaebum is Jackson’s friend and is comfortable enough to sit with him, let Jackson lean into his side and rest his tail against his leg. He wonders how unimaginable his present situation would be to him just months ago.

Bambam inhales loudly, preparing to say something undoubtedly mortifying and Jackson does the only thing he can think of to stop him.

He grips Jaebum’s tail in his hand. Jaebum yells, jumps a foot in the air and falls off the couch. Jackson isn’t proud of himself.

“Why,” Jaebum whines from the floor, feet kicking at him and Jackson pulls his legs up to his chest to protect them. For someone who does literally nothing in the way of exercise Jaebum has a decent kick. “Why would you do that?”

Jackson shrugs, ears burning and avoiding Bambam’s eyes. His brother looks like all his birthday’s came at once and Jackson wants nothing more than to throw a pillow at him. “It just looked really fluffy.”

Jaebum sits up and slaps at him, hand colliding with his bicep and he grimaces at the sting. “You’re an asshole.” But he still pulls himself back onto the couch and sits back in his spot beside Jackson. Jackson misses the weight of Jaebum’s arm on his shoulders and the brush of Jaebum’s tail against his leg, but he probably should’ve seen this coming.

“Just so you know it was really fluffy.”

This time it’s Jackson falling on his ass, shoved off the couch by Jaebum as he giggles a little hysterically.

* * *

Everyone is dozing off. Mark is snoring into Jinyoung’s shoulder, Bambam is leant back in his seat drooling shamelessly, Yugyeom’s legs twitch every few seconds as he dreams and Jaebum looks over to Jackson.

He’s the only other one still awake and tired eyes turn to meet his in return. It brings their faces close together, lit up only by the dim light of the TV, and he swears he hears Jackson’s breath hitch.

“Just so you know,” He doesn’t know if it’s the secrecy of the dimly lit room, or the exhaustion that makes him say it, but he does. “If you ever want to pet me you can pet behind my ears not my tail.”

Jackson’s eyes widen, flicking up to his ears buried in his messy hair and his lips break into a soft smile.

“That way I won’t be tempted to cut your dick off.”

“Well I suppose I am pretty attached to my dick,” Jackson murmurs, still considering his new invitation. Jaebum hates the things his low voice does to his heartbeat. “Both figuratively and literally.”

Jaebum would gag if it wouldn’t wake the others so he settles with a disgusted sigh and turns back to the TV. He doesn’t even know what movie is on now, yet another indistinguishable mess of explosions and overacting, but he shivers at the sensation of Jackson’s finger brushing against the edge of his ear. Jackson makes a soft noise, curls his fingers and scratches just behind his ear and Jaebum’s eyes slip closed despite himself.

It’s only a matter of time before he starts purring and he pretends to be falling asleep to avoid the embarrassment that will bring. But he’s not a good enough actor and he hears Jackson’s teasing statement whispered to him in the dark.

“You’re such a softy.”

He grumbles and tilts his head to help Jackson scratch a particularly good spot.

* * *

“So petting now too?” Mark says, apropos of nothing.

Jackson tries not to look so guilty. He really hasn’t done anything wrong, “What do you mean?”t

“I woke up and you were petting Jaebum’s ears while he slept,” Mark hums. Jackson doesn’t even know why he’s awake so early. “You both seemed pretty content.”

Jackson groans and rolls over to hide his face under his pillow. His face is bright red and he knows his smile is verging on ridiculous, “Shut up.”

“I’m not saying anything,” Mark placates. “Except can I just say-“

Jackson kicks his sheets off of him, throws his pillow at Mark and sprints out their bedroom door. He wakes Bambam and Yugyeom where they’re sleeping on the couch. And probably anyone else within 100m with half decent hearing.

“So,” He winces at Bambam’s bleary eyed glare. “Breakfast?”

* * *

Jaebum is gathering up his laundry, sifting through the hamper for anything of Jackson’s to throw in with his, and he drops it all when Jinyoung catches him.

“Are you really doing what I think you’re doing?” Jaebum avoids Jinyoung’s eyes and squats down to pick up the clothes. He groans when he can’t seem to make the pule balance as before.

“No.”

“Wow you’re so convincing,” Jinyoung monotones. “Which one of us is the acting major again?”

Jaebum continues with his game plan of just ignoring all direct contact. It’s safer than speaking and risking ruining his entire life.

“I notice you’ve got him petting your ears too.”

“So?” Jaebum challenges, going against his game plan within seconds. He wonders if he can slip Jackson’s sweater, hidden amongst his own things, back in the hamper without Jinyoung noticing.

“Are you ever going to tell him?”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jinyoung’s eyes roll and Jaebum’s stomach goes with them because yeah, he knows exactly what Jinyoung is talking about. He knows how he’s acting is ridiculous and possessive and would almost definitely be unwelcome if Jackson were ever to find out about it, but it’s just so hard to stop.

It’s been so long since someone’s been nice to him like Jackson. He’s had girlfriends and boyfriends and the very rare fling, but nobody had ever taken the time to get to know him and understand him like Jackson has. Nobody ever bought him blankets and food he liked and never judged him based on the traits he can’t change. Never once has Jackson made him feel less of a person because of his hybridism.

But also, Jaebum can easily count all of his close friends on one hand and he knows better than to try and ruin everything by admitting how deep he’s gotten himself into this.

And it would ruin it. He’s sure of it. He reminds himself of this every time Jackson’s hands linger on his arm, every time he catches Jackson watching him out of the corner of his eyes, every time Jackson returns from the store with treats especially for him and a wide smile. He reminds himself of it every time his heart starts screaming at him to finally take that final step, to jump off of that bridge damn the consequences, and it's his brain's job to remind him he doesn't have a bungee cord. 

Jackson is a loving person. He is a great brother and an amazing friend. He is friendly and warm and considerate. And he treats Jaebum with the exact same level of love and affection he treats every one of his ample group of friends.

So he knows better than to say anything. He already knows what the answer would be.

* * *

 

It’s orientation week. Bambam and Yugyeom are moving into their dorm and meeting their new neighbors. Mark is booking more and more jobs and is always out of the apartment. Jinyoung finally got promoted to manager of the diner. Jaebum is the new chairperson of the hybrid alliance group at university.

And Jackson is a little drunk being grinded on by a guy who’s name he doesn’t even know.

It takes a little too much effort to breath deeply, his head is starting to ache from the dehydration and he knows he shouldn’t have come to the party alone. He should’ve begged Mark to come with him. He should have waited for one of them to come home from work to watch TV with him. He should’ve just stayed home and planned his extra-curriculars and made up his planner for the new semester.

But the thought of waiting around the apartment, entertaining himself like a bored 50s housewife, until someone returns with stories of their own busy day to share with him, is just too depressing to consider. So he dresses up, styles his hair and finally takes up the invitation to the party at the rich kid's apartment in the city. He's going to enjoy himself, god damnit. 

And he has! He’s had a great night, but it’s late and he’s getting sleepy and the thought of heading home and curling up in his bed is becoming more and more attractive than any party could ever be.

“Do you want to find somewhere private,” The grinding guy murmurs in his ear and Jackson feels a shiver run up his spine, and not in a fun, nice way. He leans away, laughs nervously as he turns to rest two firm hands to the guy’s shoulders in a way that he hopes is both unaggressive and clearly indicates his boundaries. To be honest he had almost forgotten about his existence before he spoke.

“Actually I was thinking I should find my friend-“ He fibs and the guy raises an eyebrow. He’s got the kind of cocky confidence that Jackson might find attractive, if not for the mean look hiding behind his eyes.  

“What friend? I saw you walk in alone, babe,” Jackson barely contains a shudder at the thoughts of eyes on him all night. He wonders where the guy’s friends have disappeared off to and whether they would be the types to support the guy’s selection for a dance partner. Somehow he doesn’t think so. “You don’t really need to find anyone, do you?”

“Oh no!” Jackson puts on his fakest, widest grin. “No my friend is hosting so I really should find him and thank him before I head home.” He is flat out lying now. He got this invitation through a friend of a friend and he’s pretty sure he doesn’t even know the host.

This is confirmed when the guy speaks and Jackson's stomach drops so quickly he's not sure it's still within his body. “I’m the host,” The guy says, voice flat and devoid of all the flirtatious teasing from earlier. Jackson suddenly completely identifies with the seals in nature documentaries, the ones gripping to a piece of ice and trying to stay above water as an orca circles them from below. He's trapped. He need to keep calm. He's fucked up. 

“Oh really?” He hopes he’s tipsy enough for his stupidity to appear genuine. “I thought this was uh- I thought this was Namjoon’s place?”

“Who?” 

Jackson knows his nervous laughter is becoming increasingly nasally and he takes a slight step backwards only to have the guy follow him into the empty space.

“I think you’re just trying to sneak away from me, aren’t you?” The guy laughs and there’s nothing humorous about it. “You sneak into my party, drink my alcohol, throw yourself on me and then try to run away. That’s not a nice way to treat your host is it?”

“No-“ Jackson fumbles, taking another, slightly larger, step back and once more being followed. “It’s just I uh- I actually just have a boyfriend-“

The guy laughs again, even more dismissive than before, “Sure.”

“No- really!” Jackson is digging in his pockets for his phone with his left hand, right still trying to hold the keep the guy an arm’s width back with his right. “His name is Jaebum!”

He should say Mark or Jinyoung or really anyone else but he says the first name that comes to his scrambling mind and it’s Jaebum’s. He really shouldn’t be allowed to drink anymore.

“He couldn’t come tonight because he had a uh- group meeting, but he’s my boyfriend! So I’m really sorry I can’t stay any longer-“ The guy grips the arm holding him away and considers him for a moment.

“So you’re going to walk home alone?”

Jackson stomach drops. Nobody could miss the threat in those words. Fuck.

“No.”

His head is spinning. It’s so stiflingly hot inside the overly expensive apartment that he feels like he can’t breathe. This is why he doesn’t drink often. He has no confidence to his limbs, he’s unsteady and uneasy and he says the first thing he thinks of to try and make the guy leave him alone.

“No my boyfriend is going to pick me up! So I really should go call him, if you’ll excuse me-“

He yanks his arm free, wincing at the way it stings, before using the moment of confusion to disappear from the guy's sight as he runs for the bathroom. But because no part of his night is going to plan there’s a line so he hides himself between a sobbing girl and her friend consoling and a guy either asleep or passed out on the floor to dial him.

“Hello?” Jackson has never been happier to hear such an annoyed voice.

“Oh Jaebum-hyung!” He could cry. He probably will cry soon. “Thank god you’re awake!”

“I’m not really,” Jaebum grumbles and Jackson’s tipsy mind takes the chance to imagine him, curled up in his blankets and glaring at the too bright light of his alarm clock. “Are you drunk dialling me?”

That brings him back to his purpose and Jackson whines. The heat, his nerves and the alcohol sitting heavy in his stomach are swiftly making him nauseous and he really needs to concentrate for a moment. “No- okay yes.” He hears Jaebum groan. “Hyung I really need you right now.”

“Uhhh-”

“Wait no- fuck,” Jackson squats against the wall and focuses on his words. “There’s a guy-“

“Okay.”

“And…” It sounds so anticlimactic but Jackson swears even hidden he can feel the guy’s eyes on the back of his neck, watching and waiting for him to return. “He won’t leave me alone.”

He can hear the faint sound of bed sheets moving, “He what?”

Jackson whines, “We were just dancing and then he was grabbing me and he wouldn’t let me go and I told him-“

“You told him what?” Jaebum bites out, trying to drag out information piece by piece.

But Jackson can’t admit it, he can’t handle Jaebum being disgusted with him or embarrassed for him for making up a fake boyfriend. He sounds so desperate and pitiful already and he can’t stand the thought of Jaebum knowing about this too. So he brushes over it.

“I told him I was going to get picked up and that he should leave me alone.”

“Okay… Where are you?”

Jackson breathes out a sigh and promises to text him the exact address.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Call me if he comes back.”

* * *

Jaebum has never been more thankful he did his driving exam as soon as he came of age, regardless of whether or not he actually owned a car to drive. He throws on a pair of jeans, grabs a coat and Jinyoung’s keys from his bedside table, says a silent thank you to his sleeping roommate and runs out the door. He almost forgets a pair of shoes.

The drive is nerve-wracking. He realises after five minutes he's gripping the wheel so hard his fingers are turning white and he forces himself to loosen his grip. 

Jackson hadn’t sounded right on the phone. Sure he was drunk, words uneven and sloppy, but there wasn’t a trace of his usual humour or confidence. He sounded scared and cornered and Jaebum wants nothing more than to be there in an instant.

But Seoul is a big city with a surprising number of people travelling after midnight and it takes him way too long to get there.

He swears at his navigation app, pulls into what is definitely an illegal space to park and runs for the building.

There’s an actual doorman, smiling broadly and standing by the entrance, and Jaebum’s mind takes a brief moment to pause in his panicking and wonder who the fuck’s apartment Jackson is in.

But he’s incredibly thankful for the man’s presence when he watches his gaze slide to the haphazardly car over his shoulder, flick down to the pyjama shirt peeking out from under his jacket and he says, “I’ll buzz you up.” The doorman tilts his head into the light and Jaebum catches a sight of a pair of dark ears hiding in his hair as the guy taps his nose. “Just a favour from one hybrid to another.”

Jaebum doesn’t know what he’s done in his life to deserve such kindness but he’s not going to argue with it.

“But if you cause any trouble I never saw you come in.”

Jaebum nods, thanks him profusely and rides the elevator up the floor number Jackson told him. It doesn’t take long to find the apartment, following the sound of music and voices and he reaches the door just as a couple stumble out. He throws an arm out, stopping the door just before it clicks locked and slips inside.

**I’m here where are you**

He can hardly search through the mass of people inside the small space and he knows there’s little chance of him finding Jackson without help. It’s an anxious few minutes as his phone stays silent.

_Maybe Jackson didn’t think he was coming and tried to walk home alone._

_Maybe he passed out and has nobody to take care of him._

_Maybe the guy harassing him followed after him and is-_

His phone buzzes.

**Hidin outside bathroom next t the guy w/ the hair**

As he discovers, ‘the guy w/ the hair’ ends up being a freshman with a truly unfortunate perm, cradling his head against his knees and smelling of sick, but he breathes out a sigh of relief when Jackson jumps up from behind him.

There’s an unsteady sway to his legs, his eyes are wide with unfamiliar fear and his phone is held so tight in his hand it might snap.

“Jackson.”

Jackson falls into his arms, body weight forcing them into the wall and air is punched out of his chest at the collision.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Jackson breathes, pressing his face into Jaebum’s shoulder. It’s too close and it’s too much but Jackson is practically vibrating with anxiety so Jaebum lets him hold onto him tight. “I was so stupid.”

“It’s okay,” Jaebum says, not well versed in caring for others but he rubs a hand down Jackson’s back like he’s seen Mark and Jinyoung do before. Jackson releases a heavy, wet sounding sob and he waits until his breathing calms to lean back. "Let's get you home." 

Jackson pulls away, almost embarrassed, and puts on his best smile as he wipes at his eyes. Jaebum’s chest aches.

“Just-“ He leans in, voice dropped into a whisper as if sharing a secret. “Just make sure I don’t trip okay I’m still a little bit tipsy.”

Jaebum smiles for the first time that night.

He takes Jackson’s hand, steers him out of the hallway and they’re almost at the door when he hears someone call his name.

“Jaebum!”

He spins, unthinking, and finds himself face to face with a guy he’s positive he’s never met before. He’s tall and broad and his mouth is turned down into a sneer that makes his ears flatten against his head.

“So the boyfriend is real!”

The term makes him pause but it’s the way that Jackson’s grip tightens at the words makes him stop completely. Jackson is keeping his eyes on the floor, trying to tug on his arm to pull him away but Jaebum isn’t moving.

This is the guy. This is the guy, he can tell in a second. This is the guy and he’s tall and rolling back his shoulders and doing his best to intimidate them both but Jaebum stands his ground. Jackson pulls at his hand, murmurs something to him, and Jaebum drags his eyes up and down the guy’s body.

He’s well off. His smirk hints at the money his clothes confirm. He’s tall and built and Jaebum has to loosen Jackson’s hand so his claws don’t cut into him.

“And he’s a fucking cat.”

He spits the words like poison. Jackson is growing more anxious, tugging at his jacket sleeve and Jaebum knows he should listen to him. He should turn away, forget about the asshole trying to get a rise out of him, and take Jackson home. He should go. He really should.

But this is the guy who scared Jackson enough to have him calling him at 1am begging to be picked up. He’s the guy who wouldn’t let Jackson leave his line of sight. This is the asshole who is now eying Jackson with sick amusement and grinning at how scared he’s got him once more. His eyes flick back to Jaebum.

“A desperate fag and a cat fucker, wow you’ve really got yourself a catch.”

And that does it.

Jaebum pulls his arm free of Jackson’s grip and watches as his fist hurls through the air and collides with nose cartilage. He lets out a pained grunt at the cut of his claws into his palm at the impact of his knuckles, but it’s worth it just for the look of dumb shock that crosses his opponent’s face.

Blood starts to gush, the guy begins yelling and swearing and Jaebum sees a group of guys he can only assume are his friends begin to hurry over and he grabs Jackson and runs.

They make it to the elevator. The doors slide closed just in time. Jackson pushes him away and Jaebum drops the grip he has on his wrist.

“What the fuck was that!”

It isn’t exactly what he was expecting. Sure it wasn’t the brightest decision to make but his hand is going to bruise, he’s definitely never going to be able to come back to this area of Seoul and he should be asleep right now but he’s helping Jackson escape from a creep, so he doesn’t exactly expect to be yelled at. “What are you talking about?”

“Punching him!” Jackson chokes out. “I needed you to drive me home not start a stupid fucking fight defending- what? My honour?” His eyes are rimmed with red, his voice is thick and as the adrenaline begins to dissipate Jaebum’s stomach falls.

“I-“ His hand aches. The cuts on his palm sting. Jackson is placing his face in his hands and trying desperately to regulate his breathing. “I just wanted to protect you.”

Jackson drops his hands and meets his eyes. Jaebum hates the way they’re looking at him. “Well then you should’ve walked away.”

The elevator doors slide open, Jackson staggers to his feet and Jaebum trails after him as he hurries to the door. His gut grows heavier with shame every step of the way.

* * *

Jackson is… He doesn’t even know. His head won’t stop spinning. He’s almost positive he’s going to throw up into the next pot plant he can find. But despite it all he can still feel Jaebum’s eyes on him as he makes it out the door.

“The car is across the road,” A hollow voice instructs and he nods, wordless.

He waits for Jaebum to walk ahead, hesitating until he’s at least a foot in front before he follows after him. He can’t help but notice the way Jaebum’s left hand stays still as he walks, held gingerly, and the weight on his chest is becoming suffocating.

He’s embarrassed, humiliated even, and completely ashamed of himself. He fucked up so badly. So badly that he needed Jaebum’s help. And then Jaebum came to get him because he’s a great friend and felt such a need to protect him from his self-inflicted situation that he punched someone.

Jaebum. A hybrid. Attacked someone. Because of Jackson.

He really needs that pot plant right now.

The drive remains just as silent. Jackson turns the fan on high and tries to keep his eyes straight ahead to stave of the nausea and panic still buzzing through his system. But out of the corner of his eye he can see Jaebum is only steering with his right hand and his left remains curled up in his lap. That realization does more to sober him up than the air ever could.

He follows Jaebum up to the apartment and waits in silence until he unlocks the door. Jaebum pauses, door held open and doesn’t even meet his eyes.

Jackson hurries in before he can rescind the offer.

Before anything else he heads to the kitchen and digs through the freezer. The light is dim it’s almost useless and his entire body aches with exhaustion but he finds a pack of frozen berries and returns with them to find Jaebum sitting on the sofa.

He looks up for a mere second before averting his eyes and Jackson’s chest hurts.

“Give me your injured hand,” He demands.

Jaebum pauses for a moment before he relents and offers his left arm. The cold compress of the berries makes him hiss and try to flinch away but Jackson isn’t letting him go. Not yet, anyway.

He gives the berries a few minutes to begin to numb the area and slow the swelling before he spreads Jaebum’s fingers and prods at his knuckles.

“I don’t think they’re broken,” He decides and Jaebum makes a soft noise of understanding. “You lucky idiot.”

He turns Jaebum’s hand palm up and eyes the cuts. They’ve stopped bleeding but they’re not exactly shallow so they’ll need some care.

“Why couldn’t you just scratch him like a normal cat hybrid,” He mutters, almost to himself.

Jaebum’s response is just as quiet, but Jackson misses it the first time. He pulls the berries away and waits for Jaebum to repeat himself before he puts them back, “I’m not a stereotype.”

Jackson would laugh at the sentence, one he’s heard Jaebum stress a hundred times over, but the night has drained him or any and all ability to see it’s humor and he just sighs. “Well tonight you attacked a guy unprovoked, overreacting to a stupid comment that didn't really matter. I wouldn’t say you’re doing a great job in sticking to that statement.”

Jaebum is silent and Jackson can’t take it any longer. He is exhausted and drained and he can’t tell if it’s his heart or head that is going to burst open first, but he doesn’t want to wait around to find out. He puts Jaebum’s hand back in his own lap.

“Goodnight.”

Jaebum doesn’t say a single word while he gets a glass of water and heads into his room, and remains on the couch in silence.

Jackson is almost thankful for the alcohol he’s consumed because it helps him fall asleep when little else could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one chapter to go! this thing was meant to be like 5k wtf happened :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO this entire fic was written for paula my very very patient, beautiful, annoying wife.. im sorry for making you wait about 8 years for me to complete ur birthday fic.. plz forgive me <3
> 
> ENJOY GUYS!!!!

**Part 3.**

Shame. Shame and regret. Not the best things to wake up to. Jaebum used to firmly believe Jinyoung to be the ultimate champion of guilt tripping but he thinks there’s a new contender in line for the title. 

There’s some anger there too, some anger, plenty of frustration and the faint sting of hurt, but mostly he’s just ashamed. And his hand hurts.

“Don’t you have class?” He hears Jinyoung’s voice call and looks up to see his friend already dressed, bag slung over his shoulder as he prepares to head to work. One of the main perks of being a manager now- Jinyoung can pick shifts where the sun’s actually up and save his nights for study and sleep. Jaebum stares at the set of car keys in his hand for a moment too long.

“Yeah.”

Jinyoung hovers, brow furrowed so deep Jaebum thinks he’s just begging to get his first permanent wrinkle. He’s waiting for Jaebum to continue, to elaborate on his response, but Jaebum just sighs and rolls onto his front to bury his head back in his pillow.

“Alright then,” Jinyoung’s voice is unsure but too tired to press it and Jaebum understands the feeling all too well. “I’ll be back by 4. It’s Mark-hyung’s turn to make dinner. You should really go to class.”

There’s a long list of things Jaebum should ‘really do’.

But instead, he stays buried in his sheets and tries to ignore every voice in his head yelling at him to do otherwise.

* * *

Hangovers. 0/10, Jackson would not recommend. His head feels like a pressure cooker, skull barely managing to keep his brains inside, and the five metre walk to the bathroom makes him feel like he’s stuck himself inside a washing machine on spin cycle for an hour.

He throws up once for good measure, mostly emptying out bile and the water he’d forced down the night before, and dry heaves on and off for another few minutes. Finally, shoulders aching and stomach gurgling angrily, he ambles back to his room.

He tries not to look at the still closed door of Jaebum’s room.

Jackson has never been one to black out. He always wakes up the morning after a night of drinking, exhausted and little nauseous, but it only ever takes a little bit of concentration to have every memory rushing back to him in seconds. It’s a skill that has its benefits, it reminds him who he needs to text apologies to and who he has newfound blackmail over, but he honestly wishes he no longer had it.

He wonders how Jaebum’s hand is feeling.

He shoves that unwelcome thought away, not hard when his stomach lurches again, and keeps moving slowly to his bed.

He lays down gingerly, careful not to jolt his head or make his stomach turn again, and closes his eyes.

It takes him longer to fall asleep that morning than it had the previous night.

Much longer. 

* * *

He gets out of bed sometime after midday with a growling stomach and an aching head. He’s dehydrated, hungry and irritable. It’s been over 12 hours since he last ate. Jaebum wonders if that’s a new personal record.

He’s opening the cupboard, staring blankly at the hybrid cereal Jackson had brought home ‘just because I saw it on my way home’ before he stops himself. They’re little puppies and cats faces, sweet and crunchy and his stomach grumbles thinking about them. He remembers shooting Jackson a confused expression when he revealed the box, asking him whether he was endorsing cannibalism as Jackson spluttered for words.

“No! I mean- no!” He had been battling for a response and Jaebum had watched him, unblinking and fighting down a grin. “I mean it’s just a cute thing right? Animal shaped food? Like bungeo-ppang!”

“Fish,” Jaebum replied, raising an unimpressed eyebrow just to enjoy the way it made Jackson’s face contort. “I’ve yet to meet a fish hybrid.”

“The Ryan Café! Everything there looks like cute animals-“ Jackson’s voice was verging on desperate.

“Maybe I should be eating cereal with human faces,” He had hummed, keeping his tone even until he saw the way Jackson’s eyes widened in fear. He couldn’t hold in his laughter after that.

He figured he’d earned the weak shove Jackson gave him.

Jaebum hadn’t noticed at the time but he realises Jackson hadn’t even brought anything else back from the shops that day. It was like he’d gone in there just to buy something for Jaebum.

Jaebum shakes off the ridiculous thought, reminding himself Jackson probably just stopped in for a snack for himself, happened upon the cereal, and ate his own snack before he made it home.

He closes the cupboard and returns to his room. He’s into a pair of jeans, a hoodie that swamps him and out the door in minutes.

He can’t call anyone. Youngjae is sitting in the class Jaebum is currently skipping, Jinyoung is working and would 100% lecture him for skipping said class and Jackson is… Jaebum can’t call Jackson right now.

He considers calling his parents, just to check in on them and maybe get some comfort from the sound of their voices, but his thumb hovers over their numbers for a moment before he sighs and slides his phone back into his pocket.

He’s almost positive his mother would see straight through anything he told her to brush of her inevitable questions.

He buys himself late breakfast/early lunch from a street vendor and continues to walk. 

* * *

Jackson rolls out of bed at 2pm. He drinks a bottle of water, waits for a minute until he’s sure he’s not going to throw it back up and softly cheers for himself.

He makes himself some tea, stares at the food in the cupboard and listens to his stomach grumble.

He needs grease. And salt. And even more grease. But he was the last one to do the shopping and the greasiest thing he bought was sesame oil.

He grabs a cereal bar, his cup of tea and heads to the couch, not to move for another hour or so.

Mark comes home, finds him lying on the couch, resting his long empty mug on his stomach and staring blankly at the ceiling.

“Hungover?” He asks, without any more questioning and joins him on the couch. Jackson’s legs are lifted up before they’re laid back down on Mark’s lap and he draws a little comfort from his friend’s presence.

“I threw up,” Jackson grumbles.

Mark winces, runs a concerned eye up and down Jackson’s ensemble of a very very worn U17 National Hong Kong Fencing Team hoodie and bright green basketball shorts and seems to come to a decision.

“Okay get up and go have a shower.”

Jackson whines softly, much more interested in sticking to his original plan of lying in that same place until it’s an acceptable time to go to bed, but Mark jabs a too long finger into the sensitive space behind his knee.

“Why are you like this?” He hisses after his leg jolts, kicking his hand away and pulls himself up off the couch.

“If you shower I’ll treat you to fried chicken,” Mark says simply, not even bothering to notice the internal battle going on inside Jackson as he taps away at his phone.

Jackson takes care of his body. He studies a lot and spends a lot of time sitting still so he tries to make up for it by regular trips to the gym. He may not train as often as he used to but he still will go to the occasional fencing training, just to keep himself limber even if his thirst for competition has worn away over the years. He eats well, works hard and always drinks 2L of water a day.

Fried chicken is not on Jackson Wang’s List of Approved Meals.

But his stomach grumbles and he can feel his mouth begin to water at the very thought of the crispy, hot, delicious greasiness of fried chicken. His own body is betraying him, after everything he’s done for it. Fine.

“Okay- but we’re not getting any spicy!” He settles, rushing off to find his towel and something slightly less pathetic to wear.

* * *

Jaebum returns home not long after sundown. He slowly edges the door open, sneaking a look through the gap before he pauses at the sound of Jinyoung humming.

“Uh?”

Jinyoung looks up from where he’s digging through the fridge. He pulls his headphones out before he speaks.

“Mark texted and said he had to help Jackson with something for a class,” His smile was off somehow, and Jaebum feels his own face settle into something similar as he considers the fact it’s only their first day back in classes. “So it’s just the two of us tonight! I’m just throwing together some ramyun- want some?”

Jaebum nods, soundless and watches as Jinyoung’s eyes run over him and come to a decisive stop on his knuckles peeking out from his sleeve. They’re purpling softly and a little swollen. Jinyoung’s silent, Jaebum resists the urge to pull his sleeve down to hide it and risk makiing it an even bigger deal than it already is.

“You need to be more careful.”

It’s not really a command, Jinyoung’s voice is far too soft for that and Jaebum can hear the concern in it. He can’t hold eye contact.

“I know.”

“Nobody could handle something happening to you.”

“I know.”

The silence hangs heavy. Jinyoung stirs the noodles. Jaebum inhales and exhales slowly.

“Is he okay?”

Jaebum doesn’t even need to check his meaning, “I wouldn’t know.”

* * *

Jackson is groaning in pain, keeled over in his seat as he clutches his stomach. He’s so full and quickly feeling the after effects of eating fried chicken on an otherwise empty stomach.

“Why?” He moans, remaining slumped over in his seat as Mark begins to make his way to the door. “Why did you order so much?”

“Because you, multiple times, said ‘go big or go home’,” Mark laughs, nodding to the woman at the counter as he approaches and hands over some cash. Jackson almost falls over when he finally gets to his feet and joins him. “Seriously though I haven’t seen you this hungover _ever_ , what happened to your life hack?”

Jackson’s prized life hack consists of three basic steps:

  1. Always eat at least a fist sized portion of rice before going out
  2. Drink a glass of water after every two drinks
  3. Before sleeping- down a waterbottle and numb your brain with whatever pain killers you have on hand



It was, until this point, a foolproof formula for minimizing, if not completely preventing, hangovers. But the only problem with it was you had to actually follow it, and not get into an argument with your roommate turned friend and storm into your bedroom when you’ve only drunk a fraction of the required water.

Jackson clears his throat and holds the door open for Mark to head out. “The life hack was forgotten due to higher than average levels of inebriation.”

He hopes Mark will accept his vague excuse of a response and move on. He links arms with Mark and they begin their walk back to the apartment.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with the text messages I got from you at 1am talking about how you told some creep Jaebum’s your boyfriend, would it?”

Jackson drops Mark’s arm.

So that thing about having a perfect memory when it comes to his drunk antics… Maybe it’s not so perfect.

“Oh shit,” Jackson turns to Mark, panicking but also undeniably impressed at his friend’s ability to bide his time. “What did I say?”

Mark shrugged, “What I just told you, basically.” They turn down another street, moving closer and closer to the apartment with every step. “You can just read your messages on your phone if you’re really worried.”

Jackson comes to a complete stop, ignoring Mark’s annoyed sigh, and pulls out his phone. Mark is the second last person he’s texted, after Jaebum, but he ignores the first conversation and clicks on his and Mark’s.

He has to scroll up a little to find the start and when he does he releases a wounded sound.

 **Jackson** :

**if ppl asks Jaebum is My boyfriend!**

**well not ACTUALLY**

**nobody should ask tho just stay quiet ok**

**Mark:**

**Jackson it’s 1am**

**Jackson:**

**Oh! Sorry markie-pooh just rmr jaebum is my bf who’s gonna save me from a creep ok**

**Mark:**

**Ok?**

**Jackson:**

**incase anyone asks!**

There’s a gap before the next message, 10 minutes in which Jackson seems to have been seriously considering the contents of their conversation before he sends another text.

**Jackson:**

**Omg I can’t believe I told people im dating jaebum I need 2 flee the country**

Mark never sent a reply. Jackson assumes he went back to sleep. He can’t blame him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He hisses, checking through his phone again just to make sure he didn’t text anyone else like, god forbid, Jinyoung. The news would travel to Jaebum in seconds. His life would be over. They would never mend their dinted friendship and Jackson would have to move out. He might even have to go back to living in the dorms. He shivers at the thought of returning to communal showers and kitchens. “Why is everything in my life falling apart?”

Mark just shrugs and continues to walk, “I don’t know.” He hums. “Hey- are you mad at Jaebum or something?”

Jackson raises an eyebrow.

“You just seem… Off when I mention him.”

“I’m just hungover,” Jackson excuses quickly, and takes off walking fast. He can feel Mark’s eyes on his back as he hurries ahead.

“If you say so.”

* * *

Jaebum is finishing his meal, groaning contently at the warmth of food settling in his stomach, when he glances over at Jinyoung.

“Do you ever regret this?” He says, immediately wishing he could take the words back when his friend slips his bookmark into his novel and turns to give him his full attention. Jaebum suddenly feels a lot like a small child and his tail twitches.

“Regret what?” Jinyoung’s hair is messy and flat, as devoid of liveliness as Jinyoung himself after a long day. His eyes blink tiredly and Jaebum sighs.

“I don’t know. Moving here,” He gestures vaguely to the space around them, outside of the little world they have made curled up on the sofa together. “With them. With me.”

Jinyoung catches the way his voice catches on the last word and the little wrinkle between his eyebrows makes its return, “You’re my best friend.”

Jaebum wishes those words didn’t appease that little voice in the back of his head that always doubted that. He wishes he didn’t have that quiet, insecure voice always niggling in the back of his mind at all, “Yeah… That doesn’t mean you couldn’t regret living with me.”

“Hyung,” Jaebum turns his eyes away from Jinyoung’s too knowing ones and back to the TV, feeling small and curls his tail around his waist. “Whatever is going on with you two- I promise everyone here is happy and thankful to have you as a roommate and a friend.”

Jaebum doesn’t manage to contain his quiet snort, unable to be as confident in those words as Jinyoung is, but he shoots his friend a soft smile to ensure he knows he does appreciate them.

Jinyoung nods back, turns back to his book and the little hovering moment ends quietly. Jaebum is fully reabsorbed back in his show when the front door opens.

He should’ve expected it, Mark and Jackson wouldn’t disappear to work on “something for class” forever, but his tail still stiffens and his ears prick up.

“Hello,” Mark’s low voice calls out and Jaebum waits for another voice to join in that never does.

“Hi,” Jinyoung calls back, not bothering to look up and as calm as Jaebum wishes he could pretend to be. “There’s no leftovers so I hope you ate well.”

Jaebum’s ears catch Mark’s scoff, the sound of the pair kicking off their shoes and sliding into their slippers, and he turns up the audio on the TV.

When he risks a look back Jackson isn’t looking at him.

He doesn’t look at him once as he goes to the kitchen, pours himself some water and disappears into his room to go to bed.

Mark walks over, watches some of Jaebum’s show from beside them before he lets out a tired sigh and bids them goodnight.

The door to his and Jackson’s room is closed and Jaebum rests his head on Jinyoung’s shoulder. He groans when his friend groans and disrupts his comfort. Jinyoung was never the easiest person to cuddle up to.

* * *

Mark opens the door for him. Jackson made it there long before him but for some reason the act of actually getting out his keys, turning the key in the lock and pushing the door open on it’s hinges had Jackson hesitating.

“Come on I’m tired,” Mark huffs, forcing it open and Jackson follows him inside in silence. Mark greets them. Jinyoung answers. Jackson and Jaebum both remain completely silent.

He can’t help but watch Jaebum for a moment too long. He’s curled up around an empty bowl and with a pillow. He realizes it’s not the pillow he bought him. He wishes his stomach wouldn’t drop at that.

Jaebum pointedly raises the remote and turns up the sound level of the television. Jackson gets that message loud and clear.

So he heads to the kitchen, pours himself some water, gulps it down to once and for all rid himself of his lingering headache and heads to his room.

He’s buried under his sheets, face pressed hard to his pillow when Mark finally joins him.

He doesn’t say a word for a long moment and Jackson thinks his ears are about to start ringing.

“So-“ Mark begins and Jackson takes the pillow from underneath his head and shoves it over his head. He can barely breath and his nose is squished hard to the mattress, but he feels a little bit better.

“I’m really tired, goodnight Mark!” 

* * *

So Jackson doesn’t want to talk to Jaebum.

Well Jaebum doesn’t want to talk to Jackson either.

Both of them are becoming increasingly good at avoiding each other.

Jaebum skipped classes for one whole day before he realised that being at home highly increases his likelihood of running into Jackson. So the days he isn’t working or in class, he spends out of the apartment, and usually in the library.

It’s good. He goes and spends his hours just focusing on his laptop and his textbooks and can ignore everything else going on in his life. That’s the plan at least.

So that’s it. He goes to work, he goes to class, he goes to the library, he goes to his hybrid alliance meetings and when the sun is down and there’s nothing else for him to do he drags himself home and collapses into his bed.

It’s really not as bad as it sounds.

“Yah! Jaebum, are you paying attention?” He almost jumps out of his seat before he sees who is interrupting him. He pulls his headphones off with a meek grin.

“Noona?” Moonbyul has him fixed with an unamused frown and he winces. “Sorry, I didn’t notice you there.”

“I’ve been standing here for 5 minutes,” She grumbles, sliding into the seat opposite and expression shifting to one of cheeky curiosity. “So what on earth are you doing down _here_?”

‘Here’ refers to the dark corner he now calls his own.

The first time he’d come to the library in search of sanctuary he’d sat in his usual seat in the sun, only kept his things on one half of the table and looked up every time a person walked by, always expecting it to be someone else.

So he shook himself out of it, packed up his things, slung his book bag over one shoulder, and made the journey down the stairs and to the back corner of the first floor where he found a new place to sit. And sure it’s dingy and slightly dustier than his sensitive nose would like, but it means he can study in peace.

“Why aren’t you in the sun?” Moonbyul prods and Jaebum wonders how long she can keep her job when she’s always breaking the _whispers only_ rule. Her ears are perked up, her eyes are focused on him and he knows from the way her tail is wagging eagerly behind her she’s not going to let this go. “Not even I come down here! I mean unless unnie wants me to…“

She trails off, voice dropping low and waggles her eyebrows at him. Jaebum groans.

Moonbyul is doing her postgrad but Jaebum remembers her from the hybrid alliance when he first attended. He had been a freshman, creeping silently through the halls as he searched for the room the group’s page on the school’s website had listed. His ears had been perked up higher than ever, tail anxiously twitching behind him when he heard a soft cough and almost leapt out of his skin in surprise.

He turned to see a puppy hybrid with a knowing grin and ears dyed the colour of ash to match her hair watching him.

“You look a little bit lost,” She had laughed and he had tried to explain, fumbling over his words, but she had just taken his elbow, ignored the way he tensed up at the contact and pulled him in the right direction. “Let me help you little kitty.”

He had bristled at the words she’d said, but when she walked him into the room and helped him introduce himself to everyone there he couldn’t hold a grudge any longer.

“So why are you hiding away down here?” Moonbyul reaches over and steals one of his highlighters, beginning to trace patterns on the corner of his closest notebook. He wonders how many bite marks will be in the marker when she finally gives it back. “Where’s your study buddy?”

Jaebum grimaces and feels his face heat up. He hadn’t realised anyone besides Jinyoung and possibly Mark knew about he and Jackson’s studying habits. Ntot even Youngjae knew and Youngjae was Jackson’s second adopted brother. “Who?”

“Short guy!” Jaebum tries not to feel a little insulted by that as he flips through his textbook. He and Jackson aren’t so far apart in height after all. “Big eyes, even bigger smile, completely smitten with you-“

“What?” Jaebum pauses, looking up at her. “No- no he’s not? Anyway how do you even know Jackson-“

“Ah! Jackson!” She claps her hands together, sharp sound travelling through the silence shockingly fast but her tail wags even faster. Loud noises only seemed to ever bother her when she wasn’t the one making them. “That’s right, I remember that name from his library card. I knew it was something foreign.” She’s smiling at him, ears floppy but proud and tail always dancing through the air behind her. Jaebum feels himself shrink back into his seat.

“When did he borrow a book?” He can’t stop himself from asking. The only books Jackson got from the library were textbooks and those were only available on limited loan for two hours within the library. Jaebum had only listened to Jackson whine about it every second day when he returned from the copier with another thirty pages of paper.

He still remembers all the broken staples he had battled.

Moonbyul is still coloring on his book and he tries not to wince when she reaches for a different color and traces around it. The first highlighter already has two distinct bite marks. “He got books for you!” She says it like it’s obvious and Jaebum realizes with a groan the hangul she’s writing out spell hers and Yoonsun’s names.

“Wait?” He grapples together his thoughts. “What are you talking about?”

Moonbyul looks up from her artistic pursuits and tilts her head on its side, “He checked out a whole bunch of books on hybrids a couple months ago?” Jaebum is still staring at her, wordless and her soft confusion shifts to a frown. “He said he wanted to make his new roomie comfortable?” Jaebum’s expression is still blank and she huffs out in frustration. “I can’t believe you didn’t know this already.”

“Neither can I,” Jaebum says unthinking, too busy remembering all the things Jackson had done for him. He had assumed he just had remarkably good instincts on how to act around a cat hybrid like him, despite having admitted he was a little unsure how to behave, but the thought of Jackson going out of his way to collect information to make Jaebum feel comfortable… Jaebum’s stomach feels funny.

Moonbyul finishes her writing, lets out a quiet contented sound and goes to stand, “Anyway I need to get back to working unless I want to get scolded again.” Her tail droops at the thought and Jaebum still feels off, lopsided somehow. “See you!”

She scampers off and Jaebum decides he’s not going to get anything else done with his study that day. He picks up his things, rolls his eyes at the fluorescent artwork now emblazoned across his book and heads for the exit.

* * *

It’s been almost a week. Not that Jackson’s counting. Okay he might be counting.

It’s worryingly unnatural to go so long without talking to Jaebum, without purposefully bumping into his hip as he eats breakfast just to see the little grumpy wrinkles that peek out from beneath his hair and the way his tail twitches. It’s been so long since falling asleep on the couch with him, so long since bringing him food just to see the shy smile it puts on his face when he thinks nobody is looking, so long since he even saw Jaebum for more than a 2 second glimpse as he makes his way through the apartment like an apparition.

He was still angry, sure. Jaebum stupidly punched someone. If the guy identifies him, if they link it back to the university and Jaebum gets caught the repercussions could be awful. All because he couldn’t contain his temper for a few moments. So sure he’s really angry because Jaebum acted rashly and stupidly and was too stubborn to admit it.

And Jackson hated to even think about how poorly he would handle sitting by and watching him get punished for it when it was his fault.

So it’s more than just anger that keeps him from catching Jaebum’s wrist as he walks by, eyes straight ahead and never straying, as if Jackson isn’t even there.

His stomach turns, guilt pushes against his larynx and he watches Jaebum walk past him without ever looking back.

* * *

“Oh!” It’s Mark’s voice that first greets him when he walks inside and he looks up from where he’s taking off his shoes to spot Jinyoung and Mark leant against each other on the couch. Something’s playing on the television, Jaebum couldn’t name it and he’s a little unsure whether the other two could either, but he doesn’t say anything. “I thought you said he was in the library?”

He’s speaking to Jinyoung so Jaebum heads straight for the kitchen, searching for food and settling on a banana. Good. Healthy. No frustrating associations with the person who bought them. Nothing to worry about.

“I thought he was,” He hears Jinyoung murmur before their attention fully turns back to him. “Hyung why are you home so early?”

Jaebum shrugs, shoving the rest of the banana into his mouth and makes his way towards his room.

“Jaebum,” He hears Mark murmur and he hates his feet for the way they stutter to a stop. “You two should really talk.”

Jaebum prickles at that, at the deliberately low and even tone of Mark’s voice, as if acting calm and collected could convince him to talk to someone who’s very name still floods him with embarrassment and anger.

He wants to tell Mark to fuck off. He wants to tell him to leave Jaebum to get through his days by hiding from his feelings and shame and for Mark to just deal with whatever weird game he and Jinyoung are playing, but Mark is his elder and he bites his tongue.

“Sure thing hyung.”

* * *

It takes a week and a half.

Jaebum is in the kitchen, digging through the fridge for something to eat and Jackson is still in bed listening to him move around.

He skipped a class, his first for the semester, and he wonders how long it will take Jaebum to realise he isn’t alone in the apartment. He wonders how quickly he’ll think of an excuse to leave when Jackson rolls out of bed. He wonders if he’ll even think of an excuse or if he’ll just walk out the door without sparing him a word.

Well, Jackson considers, there’s only one way to find out.

He rolls out of bed, slips a pair of jeans on over his boxers to give himself some dignity, and walks out into the open space. He spots Jaebum in the kitchen and can see from across the living area how his tail stiffens and his shoulders tense. He makes his way over regardless.

Jackson ignores the voice in the back of his head telling him not to wake a sleeping lion. He was never very good at following that voice of caution.

Jaebum remains still for a moment longer before relaxing, returning to his search for food, but he can’t hide the uneasy flicker of his tail.

“Do we have any juice?” Jackson breaks the silence, waiting for Jaebum to respond and keeping a close eye on him as he opens yet another cupboard. It’s not even close to one that would have food in it. Jackson knows for a fact it’s only contents are plastic bags and a screw Jinyoung once found near the television and never worked out its origin. Jackson is just waiting for the day their TV falls straight off the wall and shatters both the screen and their hearts.

“I don’t know,” Jaebum answers eventually. He’s rechecking the same section of the pantry for the second time just since Jackson’s been in the room and he sighs heavily.

“Hyung, you know there’s an entire collection of food just for you,” Jaebum is frozen again. Jackson’s chest is pinched tight. “Just because we’re having a disagreement doesn’t mean you have to ignore it all. I bought it for you.”

“Why?” Jaebum’s sudden question startles him, but it’s Jaebum’s eyes when he turns to face him that rattle him more. They’re wide, bordered with dark circles and messy bangs that always refuse to sit perfectly. And they’re unblinking when Jaebum demands an answer. “Why did you buy me an entire shelf of food?”

Jackson’s mouth is open, struggling for words and he really wishes Jaebum would stop staring at him like that. His voice is dripping with annoyance, his gaze steely and Jackson really wonders if Jaebum truly hates him. Are they going to return to Jaebum ignoring him forever? Is Jaebum going to pretend their last few months of growing close and becoming good friends never happened?

Jackson has never been good at cutting people out of his life.

He wonders if Jaebum is.

“I bought them for you because I thought you might like them,” He finds the words eventually and his stomach falls when Jaebum just rolls his eyes. “Well excuse me for trying to be a good friend-“

“But we weren’t friends!” Jaebum stops him, voice so stern and biting Jackson feels it cut through him like he is nothing. Weren’t friends. Aren’t friends. Never. Friends. The words spin through his head, taking him with them, and he really shouldn’t have had this conversation on an empty stomach. He feels lightheaded. “I mean-“

Jaebum stops himself, leans back against the counter and seems conflicted over where he’s going with this.

“No you’re right,” Jackson fills in. “We weren’t friends.”

Jaebum looks up, eyes wide but Jackson can’t work out what he sees in them. But his chest aches and he can’t leave this be. He’s going to wake that sleeping lion. He’s coming in with a damn marching band to wake it because if he’s going out he may as well go out with a bang.

“But we are friends now, right?”

There’s another long pause in which he has trouble breathing. He watches something flicker across Jaebum’s face and he wishes his stomach would have picked a better time to growl with hunger.

“Are we?”

Jaebum’s voice is so quiet, so full of doubt it has Jackson deflating in milliseconds. He offers Jaebum a fond sigh and rolls his eyes just once for good measure.

“I mean I’m still pretty pissed off at you-“

“ _You’re_ pissed off?” Jaebum jumps in, sounding more and more like himself with every word. “I punched someone for you and you yelled at me for it!”

“I didn’t ask you to punch him, did I?” Jackson jabs back, frustration more than anger fuelling his words. “I told you- if I wanted to get into a fight with that asshole I would have punched him myself.”

Jaebum groans, goes to interrupt again but Jackson still has more to say and he’ll be damned if he goes another week and a half without reminding Jaebum of this.

“You and I both know how much worse it would be for you if you got caught.”

Jaebum falls silent, tail wrapping around his waist and Jackson watches as he catches it between his fingers and brushes his fingers through it.

It’s a self-comfort, he’s deduced. It’s the same as the way Jackson hugs his arms to his chest, trying to tamp down the shiver at the thought of Jaebum getting caught.

The police… Everyone knew the rumors of the specific squads trained just to catch hybrids. The stun guns, the roped poles and the way they hunted them down like animals. Everyone who was listening heard the stories from hybrids afterwards and the unjust treatment they experienced while under arrest.

And that could’ve been Jaebum if Jackson wasn’t there to drag him away.

“You shouldn’t have been so reckless!”

Jaebum drops his tail, lower lip caught between sharp teeth as he sorts through his thoughts. Jackson allows him a moment.

“I know,” He meets Jackson’s eyes and his heart does a little jump. “I did it for you, though.”

Guilt swirls in Jackson’s chest and he can’t hold in a humorless laugh, “I know I think that’s half of the reason I’ve been so angry towards you. You made me feel so guilty for calling you. I knew I shouldn’t have put you in that position-“

“Hey hey-“ Jaebum moves towards him, reaching up an arm and shoving at his arm. It’s playful and thoughtless, but it settles something in his stomach. “I’m glad you called me. Despite what happened, you got home safely. That’s the most important part.”

He deflates and leans into Jaebum’s touch. He holds in an audible sigh when Jaebum stops trying to dig his elbow into his side and instead wraps his arm around his shoulder.

“We’re both as stupid as each other,” Jackson decides. Jaebum makes an annoyed sound but doesn’t argue it.

“A perfect pair, huh?”

“Oh god!” Jackson shoves him off, heat rushing to his face at the memory. It was so fucking embarrassing. But Jaebum is nice and understanding and Jackson is hopeful he’ll just shake it off. Even if Jackson can’t. “I’m so so sorry about that!”

Jaebum slowly lowers his still outstretched arm and tilts his head.

“About the whole… ‘ _Boyfriend’_ thing,” Jackson’s voice is an inch away from being a squeak and his hands hover awkwardly after making air quotes. Jaebum is just watching him in silence, expression impassive and not at all helpful. “I just wanted him to back off and you were the first name that drunk me could think of.”

“Oh. That.”

And there’s really not a lot Jackson can get from two words.

“So that’s why he said those things to you,” Jaebum’s voice is just as blank as his face.

“Yeah,” Jackson winces and puts on his best apology smile. “So sorry about that too.”

Jaebum is still silent, eyes focused on the floor under his feet before they flick up and catch his. There’s something in them, something hidden in their dark depths, and Jackson feels a little unsteady.

This isn’t what he expected. Jaebum is acting odd and he shifts under his gaze.

“It’s fine,” Jaebum says eventually, giving in and opening his cupboard of hybrid food to find a snack. “Are you eating here?”

Yes. No. Jackson doesn’t know. Everything is… He doesn’t know.

“No!” It’s a moment too late but Jaebum doesn’t seem to notice, tearing open a pack of jerky with vigor and still avoiding his eyes. “I have to meet- someone- uh, for breakfast, or lunch I guess-“

Jaebum is nodding, still focused on his food, and Jackson needs to get out of this situation ASAP. He takes one last look at Jaebum, curses mentally at himself for his own foolishness and heads for the door without a second thought.

Fuck.

Now he’s starving _and_ he definitely forgot to change out of his pajama shirt.

* * *

Friendship. _Friendship_.  Friendship.

Jaebum mulls it over as he eats, wondering when the word stopped being enough.

“Ah,” He yells with only his own ears there to hear it. “What is wrong with me?”

He is tempted to throw his food across the room before the thought of wasting the salty deliciousness makes him hesitate.

He has hours until anyone else will be home and until he has to work.

He decides to have a nap.

At least then his brain will shut up.

* * *

“Is that your pyjama shirt?” Bambam’s amused giggle greets him and Jackson wishes he had thought to grab a hoodie instead of a jacket on his way out the door. But he has been in a hurry and his outfit choice wasn’t exactly the first thing on his mind.

“No,” He says petulantly despite the fact the worn tank top is 100% sleepwear. “Shut up and pick your order.”

Bambam slips into the seat opposite him and hums to himself as he skims the list. “So-“

Jackson perks up to memorise his next words for when he has to address the server.

“Why are you in your pjs?”

“Ah!” Jackson swipes a hand at him, trying to snatch the menu from him but Bambam and his aggressively long limbs dodge him easily. It really isn’t fair. “If you don’t stop I’m ordering you a bowl of plain rice. That’s it. No meat. No vegetables. You can’t even have soy sauce. Nothing.”

“Hyung,” Bambam whines and Jackson grins at the word. He may not be a huge fan of using the term himself but he can admit it’s a little nice to have his brother acknowledge his superior age. It almost makes up for the fact Bambam is well on his way to being the perfect height to model while Jackson hasn’t grown since he turned 16. “You’re the one who called me begging me to meet up with you. Gyeomie and I were going to ask these girls in the dorms next to us to come to a movie-“

“Ah you’re too young for dating anyway,” Jackson waves him off, ignoring his groan. “Focus on your studies! Dating can wait.”

“I don’t want to end up like you!” Bambam bemoans and Jackson is glad he’s so used to making his own noise so he’s not embarrassed by the heads that turn at his brother’s volume. “Stuck pining for someone who obviously likes him but too scared to actually make a-“

“So you want rice?” Jackson snaps. “Plain, steamed rice. Not even just for lunch. For the rest of your life.”

“You promised me meat-“

“Well then stop talking about things that aren’t your business and pick something!”

Bambam groans, reaching for the menu again and considering it in silence, “Aish you know hyung just because you haven’t gotten laid in years doesn’t mean-“

“One plain steamed rice please! Undercooked too! Let him get sick- he doesn’t deserve any better!”

* * *

Jaebum is back in his bed, hidden from sight and face pressed to his favourite pillow, when Jinyoung returns. He’s whining with every step, thousands of complaints ready to voice about annoying customers and his incompetent coworkers, but the words trail off at the sight of him.

“Hyung?” Jaebum grunts in response, too lazy to form words. He pulls his blanket over him. It still smells vaguely like Jackson from the time they shared in in front of the television. Jackson had fallen asleep and drooled a little and Jaebum had stared at his peaceful face for a good two minutes before he shoved him and told him off for falling asleep during Jaebum’s favourite episode. “Are you feeling okay?”

Jaebum blinks his eyes open, a little embarrassed he doesn’t remember closing them and turns to Jinyoung. He’s accepted the reality of his situation. He knows just how bad this is, “Jinyoung-ah… I don’t know.”

Jinyoung hesitates, waiting around for anything else before he dumps his bag and approaches blanket burrito Jaebum. He tucks in the blanket around his sides and Jaebum sighs happily. “Did you talk?”

“Yeah,” Jaebum admits, too mentally exhausted to bother hiding things. And sometimes it feels good to just tell Jinyoung. To get things out of his head.

“And you’re good?”

“Yeah. We’re friends again,” Jaebum hesitates. “Sort of. I think so but…”

But also there’s so much more, shifting under the surface like hot magma just biding it’s time and waiting to burst through. But that’s the thing. It’s magma. And volcanoes destroy everything in their path.

He likes Jackson. A lot more than he’d originally thought. And turns out it only took hearing Jackson absolutely embarrassed by the very thought of Jaebum being his boyfriend to realise that.

“Oh hyung.”

Yeah. Yeah… He knows.  

* * *

He walks Bambam back to his dorm in near silence.

It’s odd, compared to their regular banter. Bambam is on his phone, looking to him every few minutes when he thinks Jackson isn’t looking, and he’s feeling quite sorry for himself.

“Bambam,” He starts, the apartment block nearing and he can’t keep his mouth closed anymore. “If Yugyeomie confessed to you what would you do?”

His brother gags loudly before breaking into laughter, raising an eyebrow at him, “Well for starters Yugyeom is aggressively heterosexual-“

“Oh be quiet- just imagine,” Jackson frowns. “Yugyeom is your friend right? You care about him a lot, you know he cares about you, imagine if you found out he had romantic feelings for you. How would you respond?”

“Hyung this is so awkward-“

“Please,” He stops them both and forces Bambam to meet his eyes. “Okay so it’s not Yugyeom- just one of your friends. Someone you’re close to. What would you do?”

Bambam squirms but Jackson refuses to drop it. He needs to talk to someone about this. And Mark, the champion of suppressing any and all feelings that could lead to him getting hurt, is particularly useless for this. Bambam groans but answers, “I guess I would try to make it clear to him we’re just friends?”

Jackson nods.

“Like make some boundaries,” Bambam hums. “I probably wouldn’t let him fall asleep on me so much. Beyond the fact he literally squishes me into the couch, I wouldn’t want him to confuse the friendly affection for something else.”

Jackson sighs, feeling distinctly heavy and begins to walk again.

“Why are you asking?” Jackson grimaces. Sure Bambam was useful in the fact he would actually discuss feelings somewhat openly, but he also wasn’t a fan of dropping an issue when Jackson wanted him to. “You’re clearly into Jaebum so you’re not rejecting him are you? Are- oh no. Oh no hyung has he rejected you? That asshole-“

“No no Bambam-“

“But he’s so clearly into you?” Bambam balls his hand up into a fist and punches the other a few times. He’s so young, skinny as a twig but Jackson can’t miss the anger in his eyes. “If he’s playing mind games with you-“

“Don’t worry about it Bambam,” Jackson stops him, too drained and too embarrassed to explain everything. “Just go back to your room and ask those girls to a movie. You’ve still got all of tonight.”

Bambam is clearly conflicted, hesitating at Jackson’s words, but he shoves him onwards.

“And tell me if you need any advice!” Jackson calls out. “Wouldn’t want you to mess up your first kiss!”

“Shut the fuck up-“

* * *

Jaebum scans the items silently, putting on his best fake customer service smile as the woman pays and immediately dropping it when she turns her back.

He is half way through a six hour shift, he can barely feel his feet and he wants nothing more than to sink to the floor and stay down there forever. There’s plenty of food in the store. He wouldn’t even need to stand up to reach it, he could just slide across the tiled floor and grab snacks from the bottom shelf.

“What’s the point,” He grumbles, perking up when he sees his manager turn his way and turns to the approaching customer. “Hi, how’s your day been?”

“Good and you?”

Jaebum lies to her.

His manager sends him a thumbs up and a smile.

* * *

Even though they’re past their fight and things should be back normal there’s undoubtedly something… Off.

Jackson can’t help but be conscious of it.

It’s in the way Jaebum is still avoiding him, more subtly now, but still apparent enough to make his chest ache. He’s sitting back in their usual spot in the library again and he lets Jackson join him, even offers to get him a coffee on his way to buy himself one, but it’s in the fact he offers.

He doesn’t slam his laptop closed with a groan, kick at Jackson’s shin with the point of his shoe and plead for them to take a break and eat together. He gets their coffees to go, brings himself cereal bars and snacks to satisfy his stomach when he’s out of the apartment, and always heads back before or after Jackson so they never catch the same bus.

It… It hurts a bit. Jackson will admit it. But it was just confirmation.

He made things change that day. He was scared and stupid and said Jaebum’s name when he should’ve said Mark’s or Jinyoung’s.

And he opened Jaebum’s eyes to the way Jackson had become so attached to him. He had seen through Jackson and them being ‘friends’. He had seen through him just like everyone else. It only took a few months.

So Jaebum was doing his best to distance himself.

Part of Jackson appreciates him for the way he was doing it, carefully and gradually so as not to have him worrying Jaebum hated him again, but just enough to make it clear that they were indeed friends and nothing more.

Despite what Jackson yearned for.

He looks up at Jaebum from across the table, reaches out against his better judgment and softly flicks his ear. Jaebum rolls his eyes and lets out a tired sigh but Jackson still can see the fondness underneath his facade.

Everything is okay.

Really.

It will be.

* * *

Jaebum never expected himself to be one of those idiots with unrequited feelings pining from afar. It was a stupid idea, a waste of energy and time, and he never planned on it.

He didn’t even really do relationships or feelings. You typically had to actually enjoy leaving the house and engaging with people to do that.

You had to dress up nice, style your hair, put on cologne and your best smile only to get crowded into a club or bar with sweaty people and sticky tables. And being a hybrid didn’t help when you could smell exactly how little cleaning the staff did between nights.

So… He didn’t really anticipate this.

The last person Jaebum had dated had been in the first year of university and their relationship had begun with Jaebum nodding to her in class. She had nodded back. He had raised an eyebrow. And then they had gotten dinner after class.

They had dated for 6 months. She was nice and Jaebum liked her. She had a slight oral fixation and loved his mother’s cooking and they’d fit together well, but then she decided she was more into Jinyoung than him.

He took the news okay, nodded when she said she hoped they could remain friends but he didn’t quite have the heart to tell him she wasn’t exactly Jinyoung’s type.

Jinyoung had thrown a shoe at him when he returned to their dorm.

“You know what you did.”

And that was the last person.

Jaebum wonders if this is what happens when people fall for their friends instead of just asking out a stranger with a nice smile. He decides he will never let himself do this again.

* * *

Time goes by. Jackson hides from Mark and screens calls from Bambam. Jaebum remains annoyingly perfect.

He comes out of the bathroom one day with nothing but a hand towel covering his dignity. He jumps when he spies Jackson sitting on the kitchen counter drinking a smoothie.

“I thought you were at the gym?” He yells, voice possibly the shrillest Jackson has ever heard him. If it wasn’t for the amount of bare skin present he might even have teased him for it. But Jackson’s mind is melting out of his ears and Jaebum is the mirror image of a grumpy cat who’s been caught out in the rain.

His hair is sticking to his forehead, his ears are slightly lopsided from the weight of the water and his tail is dripping droplets of water onto the floor behind him.

It’s so stupidly cute.

The cuteness, combined with the way water droplets are trailing down his bare chest, catching in the line of hair leading southward and following it under the tiny towel he is holding to himself, is enough to have Jackson in physical pain.

“Forgot my phone,” He chokes out. “And then I made myself a smoothie because I was hungry.”

He gulps. A berry seed gets stuck in his throat and he’s unsure if it’s the lack of oxygen or Jaebum’s bare chest that has him turning red. Jaebum just nods.

“Well…”

“Please cover your ass,” He begs and Jaebum glares at him.

“I forgot my towel!”

“Still…” Jackson is whining slightly. “Ass.”

Jaebum flips him off and runs to his room.

Jackson stares at his ass while he runs away. He can’t help it. He had always wondered what it looked like where Jaebum’s tail met his lower back.  

* * *

It gets a little bit easier to live with, the realization that Jaebum has a foolish crush on his friend.

Space is helping even more than he’d expected but he's still allowing himself some time to just hang out like old times. It's really nice. 

Usually.

“You’re so annoying,” Jaebum groans. “Hand me the remote!”

“No!” Jackson cries out, kicking at him from all the way across the couch and Jaebum’s tail narrowly avoids getting stomped on.

“Careful!” He complains, pulling it tight to his chest. He feels himself pout and flushes at Jackson’s soft coo.

“Aw I’m sorry little tail,” Jackson apologises, moving his feet off the cushion and scooting closer to Jaebum. He reaches for his tail, petting it carefully and Jaebum can’t breathe properly.

It’s an odd sensation. His tail prickles, hair standing on end and he watches the way Jackson’s eyes widen but his hand doesn’t move away.

Jaebum is used to the sensation of being groomed. He had a mother who chased him around with her weaponised brush and stubborn determination. It was annoying, a necessary chore to prevent absolute ruination of all of his clothes with fine hairs, but it doesn’t feel absolutely awful when it’s Jackson.

It’s far too sensitive and almost tickles, like a feather trailing up the underside of your foot, but he allows Jackson to brush at the fur for another moment before he flicks his tail away.

“Oh!” Jackson’s hands flinch away and he tucks them between his knees as if trying to prove to Jaebum he’s safe from them. He sends him an apologetic smile and Jaebum can’t even find it in himself to be mad, even though it feels like he’s stuck his tail in a power socket. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that- it’s just really soft.”

Jaebum flushes but feels his ears perk up a little proudly.

The silence hovers for a moment before Jackson breaks it, still sitting closer to Jaebum’s side than he’s been in weeks and watching him.

“Do you wash it like you do your hair?” Jackson prods and Jaebum can’t hold down a smile at his genuine curiosity. “If you have a shower and you don’t want to get it wet what do you do? They should sell shower caps for your tail!”

Jaebum watches the way his eyes light up, arms gesturing excitedly and gasping with every new though, “Uh-“

“Can you control it? Like a monkey or is it just reflex?”

“Uh-“

Jackson pauses, exhales heavily and Jaebum holds in a giggle.

“You done?”

“Yes, sorry.” Jackson presses his hands back between his knees and sits patiently. Jaebum can’t say his obedience doesn’t have his tummy turning funnily.

“Can I answer now?” He teases.

“Yes, please.”

“Okay,” Jaebum pauses dramatically, tempting Jackson to interrupt him but Jackson stays quiet. Jaebum has the sudden urge to combust into nothing. “I wash it like you wash my hair. I have to brush it more because it sheds sometimes.”

“Yeah I know it gets all over my clothes,” Jackson murmurs under his breath and Jaebum’s eyes widen.

“Wait- really?” He’s embarrassed by it but he’s even more embarrassed at the way it pleases the little possessive monster in his chest. Anyone could look at Jackson’s clothes and know of Jaebum’s existence. Even if they humans would think his fur was just from a normal cat, other hybrids would know. “I’m sorry.”

Jackson waves a hand, pushing away his worries and returns to waiting for him to talk more.

“Uh-“ He retraces his steps, trying to ignore the territorial side of him purring under the surface. “It’s really annoying when I don’t want to wash my hair and then one time I tried to blow dry it afterwards and it went really fluffy.”

Jackson makes a soft whine, too quiet to be a squeal but getting close, “Fluffy…” His voice trails off and Jaebum is unsure whether Jackson’s even aware of saying anything.

“I can sort of control it,” He pauses, considering it. “But then sometimes it just does things on it’s own when I’m anxious or happy or-“ Or super comfortable. Like when it rests against Jackson’s leg. Like it’s doing now.

“Or?” Jackson prompts and Jaebum can’t look away from where it’s resting on Jackson’s jeans. He can see little specs of dark black on the navy blue and his heart is wedged in his throat.

_Or when I’m around you._

He doesn’t say it. He wants to. He really, really wants to.

But he looks up and catches Jackson’s eyes just in time to see the way they widen suddenly. He thinks Jackson must’ve realised it, must understand the emotions glaringly obvious in his eyes, but instead Jackson slaps at his arm and jumps off the couch.

“Oh my god I’ve got five minutes until I’m supposed to be tutoring!”

And like that he’s out the door, backpack thrown over one arm and waving wildly with the other.

“Don’t forget it’s your turn to make dinner!” 

* * *

Jackson pauses outside of the door, takes a moment to steady his breathing before he runs down the street.

He is going to be so late.

That should probably be the reason his heart is racing so fast, but he knows it definitely isn’t.

* * *

Fucking fuckedy fuck fuck fuck.

Jaebum really needs to get himself together.

He can hear his heartbeat in his ears, his tail is still dancing through the air nervously and he releases a heavy breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Well,” He clears his throat, addressing the empty apartment with a grimace. “Time to work out what’s for dinner I guess.”

* * *

Jackson charges by the hour. He’ll see the students at least once a week, work through their class work with them and give them more work to have done by the next week.

It’s something he enjoys, tutoring. It’s an excuse to even further improve his language, to make money while studying and he even gets the added benefit of making some new friends in the process.

He’s only seventeen minutes into the hour-long session when Jungkook puts his pen down on the table and stops Jackson in the middle of a conversation about the differences in formality in English compared to Korean. Jungkook stops him with a dead-eyed stare and his words trickle off into silence.

“Yes?”

Jungkook blinks at him, lips slightly parted as he takes a moment to find his words and Jackson is feeling incredibly judged. “Do you want to reschedule?”

“Hm?” Jackson tilts his head, unsure where the comment is coming from and Jungkook sighs.

“You’ve been ranting for the entire session about honourifics and formality and how you can’t decide whether or not its socially appropriate to acknowledge the fact you told your roommate you want to bone him.”

Jackson chokes on his tongue, spluttering loudly and he’s incredibly thankful he books study rooms out of the main area of the library for these sessions so nobody can overhear this. “I did not-“

“Okay,” Jungkook shrugs him off, turning back to his notes and gnawing on his bottom lip as he fills in another section of the activity sheet.

“I really didn’t say that-“

“Okay.”

“I wouldn’t-“

Jungkook just nods and fills in another word.

“And I didn’t _tell_ him that- I just made it embarrassingly obvious I like him and now things are weird between us-“

Jungkook groans, “Hyung.” Jackson blinks. “I really just want to get through my work before my next class so it’s fine if you want to reschedule- but please stop talking about your weird boyfriend/roommate problems.”

Jackson gulps, considers his situation and nods. He should probably stop thinking about Jaebum so much anyway. It wasn’t exactly conductive to his ‘act like you’re cool with friendship and you’re happy to remain pals with him even though all you want to do is cuddle him and see just how soft his lips are’ plan.

“So,” Jungkook puts down his pen, cracks his neck and Jackson winces at the popping noises and shoots him his most convincing smile. “Coffee?”

* * *

Jackson is dancing around the kitchen, half serenading Mark seated on the counter and half serenading his eggs in the fry pan, when Jaebum stumbles out in the morning. He does a turn, catches sight of him and almost trips on his own feet.

Jaebum grimaces.

He hadn’t exactly… Slept. At all. In about a week.

“Good morning,” Mark greets, looking far too fresh faced and glowy for 8am. Jaebum should really ask him what moisturizer he uses. Or just find a new apartment so he doesn't have to deal with all of that.

“Hi,” Jackson adds, voice oddly quiet and Jaebum raises an eyebrow before looking down at himself.

Ah yes, his blanket cape.

He’s too tired to think of an excuse. It’s not even cold enough to warrant it anymore but he tugs it up over his head, making a true cloak and pulls it tight around him so only his face peeks out. His ears are squished and he feels at little bit like E.T. but it’s cosy and leaves enough space for him to glare at Jackson through the gap.

Jackson just stares back, spatula held uselessly in his hand, and suddenly Jaebum’s nose picks up the scent of burning.

It takes Jackson a moment, and Mark kicking him in the side, before Jackson realizes what is happening.

“No!” Jackson yelps. “My morning protein!”

Jaebum decides he really did make a dumb mistake letting himself fall for Jackson.

* * *

Jackson is getting pretty good at hiding how he’s feeling. Regardless of the egg incident- which to be fair you can’t blame him, grumpy blanket burrito Jaebum was so cute and sleepy- he’s managing okay.

Sure it’s still hard, not to reach out and tug at Jaebum’s ears or pull him into his side when they’re seated on the couch together. It takes a little too much of his energy to hold it in, to not just say it when Jaebum is smiling at him after he’s made a dumb joke.

“Hey so we both know I want to hug and kiss you and it’s cool that you don’t feel the same way but it’s tiring to keep it to myself.”

It’s hard. And it’s tiring. But Jackson would rather keep Jaebum as his friend than ruin things by making it uncomfortable and awkward.

Because Jaebum is a good friend. He’s grumpy and always sleeping and refuses to admit that he was the one to eat Jackson’s leftovers, but he listens when Jackson talks, he never makes fun of him for the things he finds important and he makes Jackson happy.

It’s good. Friendship is good and important and Jackson hates the fact that people act like platonic love is less important than romantic.

He’s just got to work out how to get rid of his romantic feelings for Jaebum and return them to being platonic.

It does help that Jaebum is more distant around him now. It’s good. It’s necessary.

But Jackson can’t help it when he is digging through the laundry hamper to find his lucky pair of underwear for his upcoming quiz and finds Jaebum’s hoodie.

It’s the one he stole, months ago, and he runs his fingers over the holes in the sleeves.

It’s weird and it’s wrong and he checks the door is locked before he pulls it on. It’s soft, even softer than he remembers, and he breathes in the scent of Jaebum for a moment before he grimaces at his own foolishness.

Things were so different the last time he wore it.

He almost wishes he could be transported back to that day, before when he could look at Jaebum without feeling like a string was pulling on his heart. But now Jaebum is his friend. And Jackson knows, even though his feelings are unreturned, he’d rather be Jaebum’s friend than nothing.

He’s just tired. And he misses him.

So he allows himself ten minutes. He sits on the floor, knees tucked tight to his chest as he hugs himself tight and waits for the numbness to settle back in his stomach. Once he can breathe again he stands, pulls the hoodie off and places it back in the hamper in between two of Jaebum’s things to hopefully mask his scent. 

* * *

Time goes by. Jaebum writes sappy songs in the corners of his notebooks. Youngjae points it out and Jaebum gets better at hiding them. Jinyoung keeps watching him like he’s scared he’s going to lose it any minute. Mark is acting as cryptic as ever.

Jackson is… Being Jackson.

Jaebum looks over from where he’s curled up on the windowsill, watching as Jackson wrangles four different binders into one arm and picks up his bag and a protein shake in the other.

“I’m heading off to class now!” He calls out and Jaebum flicks his eyes back to his book to avoid being caught staring. He's always incredibly thankful of his superior reflexes. 

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you tonight, right?” Jackson continues and Jaebum hates how much the domesticity of their almost daily goodbyes pleases him. If he had no self respect or restraint he might even purr. “Have a good day!”

“You too.”

“Goodbye Jaebum-ah!”

And Jackson slips out the door before Jaebum can even notice it.

“Ah what a brat.” 

* * *

Jackson giggles to himself as he makes his way down the stairs, almost tripping over his own feet and dropping all his things in his distraction.

He completely misses Jinyoung when he walks past him in the street, returning from a breakfast shift and silently observing the way he’s grinning to himself.

He's too busy ignoring all of the roadblocks in his life and just appreciating the fact Jaebum likes him enough as a friend now to not murder him for the teasing. They have come a long way. 

* * *

“Why don’t you just confess already?”

“Jinyoung-ah-“

It’s the same conversation they’ve had a thousand times over. It’s the one where Jinyoung tells Jaebum he’s being ridiculous and needs to tell Jackson how he feels, and then proceeds to ignore every one of Jaebum's reasons for why that's a terrible idea. 

“He has feelings for you-“

"Feelings of friendship."  

“Who told you that?”

“He did!”

“Wait- really?”

“Yes!”

Jinyoung is staring at him, work apron still tied around his waist and forgotten, and Jaebum groans when he shakes his head and tries again.  

“Well then he must have lied.”

Jaebum groans, “Jinyoung nobody wishes more than I do that that's the case but it's just not.”

* * *

Jackson forgot to make himself tea. It really wasn’t his fault, he was on his way to make some when he noticed Jaebum curled up on the windowsill reading his book with that cute little concentrated pout on his face and completely forgot.

So he’s standing in line, arm aching from the binders he is lugging around, and praying for them to move faster when he hears someone call out his name.

“Jackson-hyung!” He turns to the sound of the voice, almost dropping his things in surprise at the sight of Youngjae hurrying up to him.

“Ah! My adopted brother!” He calls out and the answering smile on Youngjae’s face is so bright he’s surprised he doesn’t need sunglasses to witness it. “How are you?”

Youngjae is already cradling a coffee but he sticks by Jackson’s side as they step forward, chatting away happily and checking in after not seeing each other for so long.

“So you and Jaebum-hyung are going well then?” Youngjae says when Jackson is blowing on his tea, trying to make it cool enough to drink before he has to walk to class.

“Uh…” Jackson decides his tea is probably cool enough not to completely singe his mouth. He takes a sip and burns his tongue. He frowns at it for a moment, betrayed. “What do you mean?”

Youngjae raises a brow, gestures vaguely and Jackson puts on his best clueless smile. Youngjae huffs, “You two are together, right?”

Jackson snorts, lets out one slightly hysterical cackle and then cools his expression at Youngjae's frown, “Oh no, he isn’t interested in me like that.” He hopes Youngjae misses the fact he doesn't deny being interested in Jaebum. Oops.

Youngjae just seems more confused than anything, coffee cup forgotten in his hand as they head for the exit of the little shop, “But…” He squints. “No he’s definitely interested in you.”

It’s uncomfortable and Jackson’s smile is growing a little pained at the topic. It’s not exactly a pleasant conversation topic to have, to casually discuss the fact the person you like doesn’t feel the same way, when one of their friends is trying to argue the opposite.

“He’s not but it’s fine,” Jackson has given up on any illusion his own feelings are a secret anymore. “We’re friends.”

“But he likes you.”

If Youngjae weren’t so nice Jackson would probably be frowning by now. “He doesn’t.”

“But he’s been writing songs about you.”

That brings him to pause slightly and he leans into Youngjae, “About me? Are you sure?”

“Well they’re love songs and when I caught him writing them he almost scratched me so they have to be about you,” Youngjae explains, as if it’s all perfectly clear. But Jackson is too much of a realist.

“He’s been reading a lot lately maybe he’s drawing inspiration from the characters in his novels?” Jackson offers. His stomach sinks a little at the next thought. “Or maybe he’s met someone at work? Or in his hybrid alliance meetings? Or in one of his classes.”

There’s plenty of people out there for Jaebum to be interested in and Jackson breathes out a sigh. It’s really fine. Jaebum should be happy and if he will be happy with someone else than Jackson is honestly, genuinely happy for him.

"But I'm the only one he talks to in class." 

He looks ready to continue, to shower Jackson with more information to boost his hopes only to have them been crushed eventually, so Jackson looks at his phone and gasps, "Oh my goodness I need to head off. Nice to see you again little brother!" 

Youngjae is still frowning when he hurries away and Jackson winces at his lack of tact. 

Probably not the best move to confess to someone's friend that you like them. Oh well.  

* * *

Jackson makes lists. Jaebum has seen him do it. He’s teased him about them, tried to catch a peek and pouted when Jackson slams his books closed. But he wonders if a list would really help him right now.

He bets if Jackson were in his position he’d work it out in minutes. He’d make his decision on what to do it and stick with it and everything could go back to normal much quicker.

Jaebum knows the reasons he’s keeping silent.

He has to remind himself of them every time Jackson smiles a little too widely and leans into his space as they sit together. He has to remind himself every time one of his friends grumbles at him to just do it already and tell him.

His judgmental looks from Jinyoung are a daily routine. He’s even started getting passive aggressive text messages from Youngjae asking him if he wants a +1 to their upcoming showcase to invite his boyfriend. Even his mother has been calling him and asking how his living situation is and if there’s anything he should tell her about.

He entirely blames Jinyoung for that one. The kid never learnt when to keep things to himself.

Jaebum thinks he’s doing the right thing, honestly.

He’s not the best with friendships already and risking one by confessing to Jackson, someone he’s 99.99% sure doesn’t feel the same way, is a little unpleasant to consider.

But he can’t exactly account for the way it becomes a thundercloud always hanging overhead, weighing him down and negatively affecting his life.

He knows bottling up emotions isn’t healthy, and he honestly isn’t sure how much longer he can keep it up.

There’s no real warning sign when he breaks.

There’s been no unexpected emotionally charged moment, no sudden realization of how much he cares for Jackson and how he can no longer keep it contained. He just looks over one day and comes to the quiet discovery that, oh yeah, he doesn’t want to keep this to himself anymore.

Jackson is just sitting beside him on the sofa, chewing on his bottom lip as he highlights his textbook and Jaebum looks over and he just knows he has to say it.

He had almost been there in the kitchen, with Jackson flushing and telling him off for not taking care of himself. He had been a step even closer on the touch with Jackson’s eyes glued to his and questions bubbling from his lips. And now he’s just there.

And it’s almost a relief. 

“Jackson-ah,” Jackson hums, not looking up or noticing the fondness laced through his tone.

He repeats himself and Jackson looks up, eyes wide. “Huh?”

He rolls his eyes and bites back a grin, “You’re sitting on my pillow.”

Jackson almost falls off the sofa and Jaebum knows he’s watching his antics and smiling like an idiot. He shoves the pillow towards Jaebum, an apologetic smile on his face and he bows his head, “Oh no I’m sorry I didn’t realise- Oh god and I know you hate how I smell-“

“Jackson-“

“I’ll wash it! I’ll even use your fabric softener-“

“Jackson,” He pauses and Jaebum’s stomach flips. Jackson’s eyebrows do a funny dance at the sound of his laughter. “I don’t hate how you smell.”

Jackson hesitates, disbelief clear across his face and he shakes his head, “Well you definitely don’t like how I smell.”

“No… I do.”

Jackson is silent, mouth moving uselessly as he tries to piece it together. Jaebum can’t say he blames him for the confusion.

“I do like how you smell. You smell really good.”

Jackson is still staring, “But wait-“

“You smell so nice it actually annoyed me.”

“Why?”

Jaebum isn’t a big fan of that question. He’s happy to talk about things when he wants to, but to be asked to explain himself is something he’s still getting the hang of responding to. He shifts under Jackson’s unwavering gaze and pulls the pillow tight against his chest. It’s like a little barrier, it’s soft and comfy and it smells just enough like the comfortable warmth of Jackson to bring him some comfort for what’s to come.

Jackson will be nice about it at least, he knows. Everyone likes hearing someone cares about them. It’ll be a little bit awkward afterwards and Jaebum’s very much not excited to move but… It’s Jackson.

“Because at first I didn’t want to like you and it made me mad my nose was refusing to cooperate.”

Jackson pauses, seems to consider the words and Jaebum has a population of butterflies residing in his stomach.

“I was kind of a dick at first I’m sorry.”

“No no-“ Jackson interrupts him. “I didn’t know how to act around you at first and I definitely overstepped some boundaries and messed things up.”

Jaebum debates it for a moment, “Moonbyul told me about the books.”  

“Oh god-“ Jackson is slightly frantic. “I just wanted to understand you better but I know you didn’t want to talk and I thought it was more respectful than going behind your back and asking Jinyoung and-“

“Jackson-“ Jackson tries to continue and he reaches for his arm, lowering it. “I thought it was nice. Cute.”

Jackson turns a pretty shade of pink and Jaebum thinks he really likes the look of it. But Jackson would flush at a random person on the street being called cute.

“I uh…”

Jackson is watching him, cheeks still flushed and Jaebum takes a moment. He thinks of the volcanoes, the magma bursting out of the earth and destroying everything.

“I really appreciate how understanding you’ve been, even though I gave you no reason to be.”

Jackson’s eyebrows wrinkle and Jaebum can tell just how confused he is by where this is going. Jaebum sighs to himself. He’s really never learnt how to confess.

“I really like you.”

A pained whine slips from Jackson’s mouth and he immediately edges away.

“So that’s that. I can start looking for other apartments-“

“WHAT.”

It’s not even a question, just a gush of air rushing out of Jackson’s lips and Jaebum’s frown deepens.

“It’s awkward so I thought you’d want-“

“What the fuck,” Jackson is now directing his words to the roof, as if there’s something up there that can help them beyond their too noisy neighbours. 

“It can’t really be that much of a surprise-“

Jackson slaps a hand over his mouth and he flinches away from it so quickly he almost falls from the couch. His claws are out but he keeps them still and retracts them slowly. Reflexes are annoying sometimes.

“Since when do you like me?” Jackson voice strains and Jaebum would rather not share all of these details. It’s already embarrassing enough without Jackson forcing him to reveal more on the topic. But Jackson’s eyes are desperate, his hands are holding tight to the couch as if he’s afraid he’s about to float away, so Jaebum just ignores the growing ache in his chest and talks.

“I don’t know, Christmas maybe?” Jackson’s eyes bulge. “Maybe earlier? It’s hard to remember.”

“You asshole that was months ago!”

“Hey give me a break,” He can’t help but pout a little. He has a pit in his stomach that is steadily growing and everything is going a hundred times worse than he imagined. Jackson is a good friend. He expected maybe a few awkward words and a one armed hug before Jackson avoided him for a few weeks, not for this. “There’s no need to be so mean at me for hiding it. I’m sorry if it creeps you out.”

“Hyung,” Jackson’s voice pleads. “I’ve been pining for you for so long even Mark won’t stop asking about us. Mark! As in my roommate Mark who says four words a day and three of them are to Jinyoung. Even he knows about my feelings for you.”

Jaebum’s brain stutters to a halt.

* * *

Jackson is beginning to get seriously concerned he’s broken Jaebum.

His ears are sticking out at a weird angle, his tail isn’t even slightly swaying and he’s been staring blankly at him for what is beginning to feel like hours.

“I,” Jackson perks up at the word, waiting for Jaebum to continue on but he just sighs and grumbles to himself.

“You really didn’t know?” He is a little bit amused, a lot confused and incredibly nervous. “I think you’re the only person who didn’t see it.”

 Jaebum is frowning, bottom lip jutting out and Jackson giggles at the petulance in his voice when he speaks, “How was I supposed to know?”

“You just said how!” Jackson shrieks. “I read books for you! I walked on my tiptoes around you to get you to like me! I even bought you a pillow and blanket. I tried to make fish for you-“

“Oh,” Jaebum’s face falls, looking so genuinely upset by that it almost makes up for the ungodly hour he’d woken up for that. “You bought that for me?”

“Yes!” Jackson can’t help but grin. “Mark told me you didn’t like me and I hated it. So I tried to make you like me.”

“Well it worked,” Jaebum mutters and Jackson wants to wrap him up in his arms and hug him so hard it hurts.

“And then I got to know you and I realised that you’re even more amazing than I thought,” Jackson winces, slightly embarrassed at his own words but they’re worth it for the way it makes Jaebum flush.

“You’re so cheesy.”

Jackson shoves at him, giggling when Jaebum catches his hand and interlocks their fingers, “You’re the one who just told me I smell so good I gave you a rage boner.”

Jaebum chokes on his breath and Jackson laughs so hard his stomach begins to ache. He composes himself, wipes the tears gathering in his eyes, and leans into his side.

“It’s okay though, you smell really good too.”

Jaebum crinkles his nose, “You smell better when you smell like me.”

Jackson’s stomach does a little jump, “So should I wear your hoodies more often? Or should I steal your blanket? Or cuddle up to your pillow?”

“I mean you could just kiss me.”

Oh. Oh okay. Or Jackson could do that.

* * *

Jaebum is a cat hybrid, he likes warm things, affection and being comfy. It's probably why he loves the sight of Jackson underneath him, gasping for breath as he tickles up his ribs and presses kisses to the side of his neck.

He presses his nose there, inhales his scent and enjoys the shiver he feels run through Jackson’s body.

“Ah my neck is sensitive!” Jackson squirms but Jaebum can tell how much he enjoys it with the way he’s still grinning. Jaebum nips at the skin and laughs at the whine that slips from Jackson’s lips.

“You smell like me now,” His stomach warms pleasantly and he rolls his eyes at the way Jackson wags his eyebrows and smirks up at him.

“Gosh you’re such a stereotype.”

Jaebum cuts off his smug cackling with a kiss and waits patiently for Jackson to stop grinning to kiss him properly.

Kissing Jackson soothes something under Jaebum’s skin. It sends warmth up from his toes to his scalp and he hums happily against Jackson’s mouth.

Jackson kisses back like he does everything in his life. He’s full of energy and enthusiasm and completely unpredictable.

It takes them a little while to find their rhythm, Jackson refusing to let him take the lead until Jaebum presses him harder against the mattress and Jackson melts.

They keep it soft and simple, mouths mostly closed and alternating between quick pecks and long lingering kisses, until Jackson’s hands find their way to Jaebum’s hair. They scratch along his scalp to the base of his ears and Jackson scratches carefully at the spot he knows Jaebum likes best.

A shiver runs down Jaebum’s spine and his lips part, a soft moan slipping out, and Jackson takes the opportunity to brush their tongues together and leaves Jaebum gasping for air.

They trade kisses for a while longer, both so finally relieved to be able to show the other how they’ve been feeling for so long, until their lungs get the better of them and they pull apart.

Jackson’s lips are plush and red and Jaebum can’t help but stare at them for a moment before he lies down. Jackson lets him rest his head against his chest and Jaebum is thankful for it.

He needs to be held for a moment. He’ll happily trade places in a moment or two but just for now, it feels so perfect to be there in Jackson’s arms listening to the quiet beat of his heart and rising and falling with his every breath.

Jaebum’s on the brink of sleep, easing slowly into unconsciousness when Jackson pets his ears again.

He doesn’t even try to contain the rumble in his chest, purring as he leans into his touch and lets his eyes slide closed.

He can’t miss Jackson’s giggle, “You’re so cute.”

Jaebum jabs him in the side with a pointed claw.

“Shut up.”

“I can’t believe I somehow ended up with you.”

Jaebum’s breath catches in his chest at that, at the easy way Jackson mentions it, that Jaebum is truly his. They haven’t discussed it yet, it’s something for conversations to come, but it feels so right to hear.

He purrs louder and lets himself fall asleep with Jackson playing with his ears. 

* * *

_Part 2 of Jackson Wang’s Definitive List of Things Im Jaebum, Roommate, Cat Hybrid, Boyfriend and Grump Extraordinaire Does Not and Does Like:_

_DOES NOT LIKE:_

  * _Jinyoung taking pictures of he and Jackson curled up on the couch napping_
  * _Youngjae sending Jackson pictures of the songs scrawled into the edges of his notebook pages_
  * _Mark sliding lube and condoms into his hands at 8am the morning after they get together while he's in the middle of eating breakfast_
  * _Jackson playing with his tail :(_



_DOES LIKE:_

  * _Breakfast in bed_
  * _Cuddling (any time of the day) (no exceptions)_
  * _Study dates followed by ACTUAL dates_
  * _When Jackson wears his clothes (the hoodies especially) (Jackson isn't sure what he's going to do in summer) (they'll work something out)_
  * _Jackson Wang <3_



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you thank you thank you for reading!!! 
> 
> plz leave comment/kudos if you enjoyed and hmu on [tumblr ](http://fightmejaebum.tumblr.com/) if you want!! 
> 
> <3 Nic


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